No folks - I'm not leaving the wonderful world of blogging but I am stepping off my Barbie soapbox for a few minutes. I haven't blogged about this before but it seems that the dark clouds continue to roll in and bring subtle reminders of what is really important in life. Hey I am all for shakin' it, flauntin' it and all the other healthy mumbo jumbo that goes along with weight loss and the lifestyle change that we are all "affectionately" embrassing (said with slight sarcasm) but when push comes to shove the real things that count in life are things like the hugs your kids give you or the way your spouse loves you just because or the laughter and tears that you share with an old friend. Movie nights, milkshakes and marathons all have their own place in the universe and are all relevant to this crazy mixed up life that we're living.
Why, you ask, am I on this paticular soapbox today??? Well in the last few weeks my sister in law (she is 39 w/ 2 kids - ages 7 and 10) was diagnosed with pancreatic and bile duct cancer. Now let me tell you she was the poster child for health. She was always the perfect weight, non-smoker, non-drinker, exercised moderatly and ate well. She has a PHd in Astrophysics - yeah she worked for NASA - she has 2 kids, drinks milk with dinner - should I go on...........basically she was the prime example of June Cleaver - pearls and sweater sets. A few weeks ago her back starts hurting - she goes to the doctor - they do an MRI - bloodwork - put her in the hospital - more tests and surgeries - a stint in her bile ducts - suddenly the C word comes out - WTF........you have to be kidding. Now she is in for 4 rounds of chemo and that is all they can do for her - WHAT - All you can do - those words barely register in our heads. The statistics for pancreatic cancer are staggering - less than 1% live over 5 years - lets see, do the math - that leaves a 15 and 12 year old child, motherless - and that is the best case scenario. She has had 2 chemo treatments and has basically been bedridden - no more teaching college or needlepoint or cooking or cleaning or watching her children's various lessons........if she had known 6 months ago would she have taken more time to live her life or would she have still poured every ounce of her being into fitting into society's mold - what everyone thought she should be???
Next saga, a friend is pregnant - she just found out her baby passed away from cardiac complications........she is an architect, a professional, she travels for work and basically lives a very nice life. She has a well educated husband, enjoys good food, is slender, dark hair - on the surface she lives the perfect life - a brunette version of Barbie but now suddenly her world is off kilter - rocked by tragedy. I can't imagine - so if she had known what would she have done differently??
I hate to be a downer but it just occured to me how caught up we all get in trying to squeeze our lives into someone else's idea of right and wrong, acceptable and not acceptable. Like I said health is primo important and so are looks to some degree but when you really think about it we should be living life to the fullest every day. Yes, that means being healthy, exercise, water, good food, etc. But it also means loving yourself just because you are you - loving the CORE of yourself - your soul - your personality - your spirit - being content.......those things make one healthy in the same way that food and exercise make you healthy.
I am really trying to put my own life into perspective - really I am the freakin poster child for vanity - I want to run over all the kids that called me Big Bertha in school - it is one of my goals to show off my new self to all those mean spirited people that hurt me - well not a main goal but a teensy weensy part of me wants to say HA - LOOK AT ME NOW BABY!!! But - in perspective what difference does it make. I am so blessed to have a wonderful family, great friends, a good job and fantastic blog buddies - some days it makes me sad to think of how much time I wasted focusing on the mean people and the bad things - I never let the good stuff in and I have a lot of wasted years.
Okay - sorry for the rant but I just needed to put it down - if for no one else then for myself. I need a reality check sometimes because there are things more important than losing this last 5 pounds or the fact that my hubby doesn't always throw himself at my feet or that my house isn't always spotless and my dog is a digging lunatic that is hell bent on digging a hole to China. My living room ceiling is caving in and the raccoons have taken up residence in my attic, all the while, single handedly, chewing through my electricity and cutting off all power to the front half of my house - I swear this house is the money pit!! Okay so some "circumstantial stuff" sucks but when you weigh it against what could be - we are really lucky to only be battling our weight.
I am now morphing back into Barbie - "I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie World - Fantastic - Made of Plastic"