This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Where have I been??

Most people probably don't even check up with this blog anymore but since I obligated myself to blog more with the New Year I thought I should explain my absence. First my hubby and I went on a cruise for our 5 year anniversary. It was wonderful but leaving Will was a little traumatic. unfortunately, I felt off for most of the trip. Really tired and a little seasick.......I just couldn't quite shake it. I started thinking on my way home that I felt exactly like this when I was pregnant with Will. Could I be pregnant???? NO WAY - based on our months of infertility with Will coupled with the fact that I was on the pill and we barely did the deed, I thought it was impossible. Well guess what my's not. Luckily, I had a pregnancy test at home and about 30 minutes after getting home I took it...."just to make myself less paranoid". WOW - it came up POSITIVE in about 15 seconds. I was speechless and shed a few tears because I wasn't sure how the husband would react. Not only did he not want another baby but he most certainly did not want kids 21 months apart. After about an hour I knew that I had to tell him. I cried and he hugged me - he was actually happy! HUH??? I went to the doctor the next day.....I was incredibly nervous because I drank more than my fair share of "adult beverages" in Mexico.......and there was a beautiful heartbeat. We told our family and friends and everyone was excited for us. Fast forward to February 5th. I was at work and around mid morning started spotting. I freaked out and ran to the doctor. They check the baby and everything looked great - told me not to worry and to go home and rest. I stayed in bed all weekend but the bleeding got worse. Monday I went back to the doc and again was told the baby looked great and that I had a subchronic hemmorage. I was feeling more positive and expected the bleeding to slow down but it stayed the same. On Tuesday (I was due to go back to work on Wednesday) I started having some back pain and went to take a shower. At that point I miscarried. My hubby rushed me to the doctor's office and while stuck in traffic the cramps/contractions started. It was a very traumatic experience and we have done a lot of crying. The doc says that I shouldn't worry and that it was probably nature's way of taking care of a problem. Now we are recovering......some days I'm more going through the motions than recovering but I'm sure that is part of the process. The husband is now anxious to start trying for a baby so we'll see how it goes. I'm starting the low carb diet again because I really think it helps to control my PCOS.

In other news - the miscarriage was on Tuesday and my car broke down on Saturday. It's been a rough week. We are hoping that the repairs will only cost about $800......I'm ready for break now. Looking forward to things turning around and for the rest of 2010 to be a productive year!