This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

DRUM ROLL Please!!!

So my big news - geez, I cannot even do this insanity justice as I have no freaking time anymore. Now I would have had time had I not just spent 4 hours discussing quad outlets, turtle hardhats, tree saving tactics and a crocodile holding exhibit.......ughhhh!!! So to list my announcements - lets see - I am going back to my old job which includes a 52 mile, one way commute but I loved that job - I loved the people and I had a future there. Now I have to give notice where I am and finish out my two weeks - this shouldn't be too hard you say but the guy that I work with is a super stressed out social retard and he is probably going to have a ministroke when I tell him - not to mention his wife is having their first child next week and he is ready to stick his head in the oven about that - this guy is really on the fast-track to a heartattack! Secondly, we are moving - not just moving but MOVING - this move comes complete with in-laws, their cats, my cats, my dog, kid, 2 houses to sell - one of which is fucking falling down and should probably be demolished (yep that is where we live!!). We aren't going far but it will be closer to my job which is great but hubby has lived in our little community for 25 years - he is freaking to say the least...........I am freaking due to the excessive work that is now in front of us. It will all be good for us, our future, our family but between, kids, cats, cancer, jobs, roof repairs, racoons in the attic and a whole host of other shit I am running a bit crazy......I really hate change - I don't deal well with it - I like order and logic and NONE OF THIS IS LOGICAL! Nothing is planned, there are no lists, there is no schedule and so I am totally off kilter..........pulling my hair out, off kilter. Oh yeah, did I mention that inlaws are retiring and are going to live with us (we are psyched about this - this is the best part of the whole deal!) and that hubby is going to be looking for a new job too. This week has proven to be a difficult one and the fact that TOM is here just makes me really edgy. I haven't had time to exercise, think, sleep or relax - work is insane, home is insane and Barbie is slowly getting there (insert crazy sounding laughter here!!). Things will be okay though - I know this..........this kind of pressure is how I survive - I bitch about it and play the most beautiful martyr that you could ever imagine - "yes, I will lay my head on the chopping block for you......of course I don't mind taking on extra work even though it interferes with everything that I enjoy and love".......I'm telling you I've got a million of them!!

On the eating front.........oh can you say gooey day old donut holes.........okay gooey three day old donut holes.....who cares though! They were chocolate with glaze that at one point had consistency but now is pretty watery.....doesn't matter - in that scenario just scrape the donut on the bottom of the container!! Oh and then there are the 3 month old oreos - mushy yet somehow they filled a void in me.......that is the same reason I married my husband - sorry Ken! And you can't forget the semi-chocolate milkshake that I had last night - imagine, Barbie in a pair of cutie pj's - I've been feeling so disgusting lately that I thought I should relax with a bubblebath and put on pajamas early........yeah okay - hubby is at a friend's house and kiddo is in the bedroom - I am alone in the kitchen.......this is dangerous!! I remember the ice cream that I purposely put in the garage freezer so I would stay away - stupid stupid Barbie!!! I lurk outside.......the weather is smoldering and muggy - perfect ice cream sneaking weather. I get to the garage where immediately I smell the garbage can........god bless - when was the last time Ken took out the trash - DAMN!! Make a mental note Barbie - Ken is gonna hear about this - imagine his nerve - ruining my ice cream party by stinking up the party room!!!! I get to the freezer - suddenly I smell nothing but victory - there it is......choco chip cookie dough ice cream!!!! Ahhhhh - in goes the Barbie finger - love these nails they are great for digging out the big chunks!! Should I have one dip of the finger or 2??? Hmmmmm - maybe three - wait, there is chocolate syrup in the fridge......insert another evil laugh here along with a horrid grin!!! I am so busy contemplating my semi milkshake that I don't realize I'm dripping ice cream down my arm.......how is it possible that I can become so caught up in the prospect of eating that i forget I have a handful of ice cream??? I run in the house - scoop of icecream in my hand - I know, not one of my finer moments but I knew what would happen if I brought that shit in the house.....I'm running - trying to dodge cats, couches, shit there is a lego that I just stepped on! To the kitchen - throw in the ice cream (no not in the blender - in my mouth) and squirt in the syrup......yep - there you have it - the Barbie milkshake - then all you do is shake your head around and mix it up!!!! MMMM - just the way I like it...........then I looked down!! There is ice cream on the floor, running down my arm, on my shirt (damn these are cute pj's too!!!).......why do I do this to myself??? I cleaned up the mess and sulked off to my room........vowing not to come out again except for bathroom breaks and water!! I'm chalking that up to stress eating but really I'm thinking it was just barbie hysteria........must have ice cream now - I don't think it's really my fault - if my kid hadn't asked for the chocolate syrup and hubby hadn't bought that damn ice cream we never would have had this problem!!! Just kidding - I take total responsibility for my actions but I'm stressing it today - I figure with cats, kids, houses, inlaws, husbands, jobs, crocodile tanks, turtle hardhats, fish poop and filtration systems I have enough on my plate!

One last thing - I know that I suck right now with keeping up with everyone - please forgive this Barbie - I love you all tons and do read your posts but time has been tight so comments have been few - please don't hate me - I'll do better or I'll drown in ice cream???

11 comments:

Amanda said...

Sounds like you have some great news and some exciting times coming up. Will you build a new home for all of you??

So excited for Barbie/Trixie/Steph!!! WOO HOO for you!

Laura said...

Were you serious when you said the best part is that you will be living with your in-laws? I absolutely could never live with mine. I'd live in my car first.

WeightBGone said...

Wow, you sure have a lot going on in your life. I feel like I am in a whirlwind just listening to everything ahead for you.

Some exciting news and I just know you will pull it all together with expertise.

Congrats on going back to your old job you seem very happy about that. You have a lot to keep yourself busy thats for sure. :)

Colette said...

Damn I am tired from just reading your post...LOL How do you keep up with yourself??????????

HUGS....

BB said...

Congrats on the job change. I've returned to an old job before because happiness is the main thing! Living with in-laws would have the opposite affect-LOL! Sounds like you get along well with them. Keep us posted

KL said...

Jodi's right. You do look amazing. Congrats on all of your success. I hope the transition with work and home goes well.

jodi said...

yea, ditto - that post was a lot to read and process... all i can say is - at least all this trauma will be over at once, right? new job, moving, etc. - sort of like 2 birds with 1 stone kind of thing... i can imagine you're struggling w/excitement and fear and anxiety but honestly - in the end, it will be SO worth it... :o)

2Phat said...

Dear Insane Barbie,
{{{HUGS}}}
You'll get through this crazy time. Just think: NEW HOUSE (woo hoo!), no raccoons in the attic, free babysitting service, wonderful job, etc...
Love,
AARP Barbie
PS: yeah, yeah... I need to get around to posting the pledge on my website.

Melanie said...

WOW chica! I gotta agree with Colette I'm tired from just reading your post!! I don't know how you do it all! Congrats on the change of job...that rocks. But I will miss the turtle hat stories!! ;-)

Jo said...

Amazing how many changes you crammed into one post, gotta be a record there. What's your new/old job like? And that sounds like a huge move all around and dang, is Barbie's head gonna pop off or what??? Okay your ice cream antics cheered me up for the night and my sweet tooth is kickin in. Take a breather and mastur.. I mean meditate.

dizzydazey said...

{{HUGS!!}}

Sounds like you've got a lot going on, but it's going to be great once it all calms down, right? :o)