As I have posted before I am really trying to focus on having a more relaxed, positive self image. This morning, after a rough night at the gym, a bad night of sleep and a bloated belly from broccoli (note to self Barbie and broccoli do not mix!) I was struggling. I looked in the mirror a hundred times and found nothing attractive. Everything was wrong with me today. Now mind you, I was going to a job where I have worked for almost 9 years. The people there loved me at 385 pounds and were supportive through my whole journey. These are people that know and respect my boundaries and have NEVER once criticized or even flinched at my zaniness (as some like to call it) about my health. Why then, must I torture this poor barbie body on a daily basis??? I want to look good but really the 16 cheese goldfish that I ate last night did not mysteriously add 25 pounds to my frame. Nor did the extra cup of diet hot chocolate mold to my thighs and cause my jeans to be too tight. I am still the same person that I was yesterday, right??
So all of the above was swirling around in my bogged down brain this morning as I'm driving through downtown. In between cursing my aching legs and griping about my lack of 6-pack abs, I looked over and saw a man in a wheelchair with no legs. After 2 minutes later I heard a recap of a terrible accident that left a whole family mangled and one child paralyzed from the neck down. Suddenly, I realized that I put so much effort into criticizing my body and its imperfections/flaws. I spend countless hours scrutinizing foods and exercises - not for the sake of health necessarily but to try to eliminate the pannus that seems to have become my new best friend. Lets face it folks, that thing isn't leaving without some medical assistance! We as a society have completely flawed the image of real beauty and womanhood at its best. Society has shown us time and time again that a size 0 is the new size 2 and that anything above that is grotesquely obese. We don't look at our body as a whole but rather, we dissect and analyze each part........our body doesn't work independently from each part so why do we chose to see it that way.
I got to work and read Diet Coke's post about her DO DO list and it made me think about how I can help myself promote a positive body image.......I ran across some great articles put out by the National Eating Disorder Association. Did you know that back when the average model weighed 8% less than the average American woman - now she weighs 23% less.....WOW! The NEDA offers 10 steps to promote a positive body image....my favorite is number 10 on the list - "Use the time and energy that you might have spent worrying about food, calories and your weight to do something to help others."
We wonder why our lives become so encompassed with weight, appearance and keeping up with the Jones' - I think it is because rather than advertisements promoting health they promote skinny. There is a difference! So for today I am going to put together my DO DO list and remind myself that I am well worth the effort but the payoff doesn't make me a more deserving person.
This post is long enough but one thing that I DO DO now is to pass on fast food - this is huge for me......I used to live at the fast food restaurants. Now I have discovered that I crave healthy foods more than hamburgers - whoda thunkit??
So what do you DO DO??