This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Monday, November 12, 2007

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

Here I sit on a Monday afternoon - finally getting to blog. It has been a crazy day complete with marathon budget meeting and not enough time to get it all done BUT I have had breakfast and lunch today so I can't complain. In fact over the weekend I have done better. I wish that I could say I had been perfect and really stayed the course but I did manage to get some breakfast in both days and some lunch. I'm still struggling with the eating dinner too late but you have to start somewhere right?

I just want to say thanks to all of you for your comments and opinions......even the strong ones (Swizzle - I love you for your honestly and I soooo needed a good kick in the ass, so thanks!). I have really tried to spend some time soul searching this weekend and I've come to some interesting conclusions. Because this blog is no longer private (see my post about Ken reading up on me) I can't post some things. Not to mention posting them won't change them so it's better left unsaid. The things that I can talk about are the "challenges" that I need to face which are things like my lack of goals right now. I am a goal setter and I work so much better when I have a plan. For some reason I have really fallen off that wagon. Forgive me if this sounds vain but I am destined for greatness - I told you, sorry but I really do feel like I have a divine purpose and I know that there are things holding me back. When I say things, I mean things that I can't change (people basically) so the only thing I can do is change my approach and my perception of the situation........that is where I need to get more focused. Instead of whining about things that I don't like or things that I can't change I'm going to start focusing on what I can change and how I view things. Again, don't know when I lost this ability??? I could go through the whole host of action items that I have for myself and detail out my plan but you don't need to hear it.......just know that it's there and I'm working it and keep loving/supporting me - I NEED it!

On to what I'm learning and what I would offer up to anyone losing weight or facing any tough challenge..............make gradual, balanced adjustments - what I mean by that is, there is so much more to weight loss than just clothing sizes and numbers on the scale. You can eat good, eat bad, exercise, not exercise, count points, drink water and blah, blah, blah but if you don't change the real issues then you continue spinning in that vicious cycle. Weight, size, appearance is only a cover up for the real issue.......I've always known that but for some reason I got lazy and stopped really listening to myself. I got busy listening to everything else and everyone else telling me what I needed to be doing......not anymore though. I know what to do and I'm back to doing it. Thanks again for all your support.....Friday was a really low day but knowing that you guys were out there cheering for me made all the difference in the weekend!

I heart you all!


Scale Junkie said...

I can relate to this so much Steph, I feel like I'm destined for so much more and yes I thought it sounded vain when I said it too but maybe its not. Maybe we feel this way because its true and its our minds way of giving the good swift kick we need to get us out of the complacency mode.

I know I can do better and I can wish that others would change all day long but its not going to make it happen. I can only control my actions and my reactions.

We are learning more every day and building a fabulous set of tools!! We can do this!!

noelle said...

You are so right that it's not just the behaviors we have, but how we really relate to food, exercise and our bodies that is key. Just like in AA, you can be a dry drunk. I really think that some days I act like a fat "thin girl".

Keep pressing on...

WeightBGone said...

Just checking in to let you know you are in my thoughts. I hope your week is a good one!

Thanks for being the wonderful person and support system that you are. I appreciate you so much!!