Sometimes Being a Quitter is Smart!

So I have a zillion things to update on but really the most important of all is how much "being a quitter" for a week has improved my mental health! Ahhhh...I feel completely refreshed and in control. I guess I didn't realize how freaked out I had gotten with this whole diet/exercise thing....really, this is a lifestyle and if I have to live like I have lived over the last few weeks then it isn't worth it. I had a plan and I stuck to it.......I AM capable of going off track and getting right back on.....I knew that but I guess I lost that faith in my abilities at some point along the way. I actually went almost an entire week with no gym.....know what, after the first day or two I didn't feel the need to totally freak out because I wasn't burning calories....I adjusted my eating and ate a few bites of things that I really loved and I didn't even splurge on desserts! I think that was because I felt satisfied and I knew that I could have some if I wanted to....okay, I did have a bite of pumpkin cheesecake but it was only one bite and it was in public - not in the darkness of my garage and scooped out of the pan with my finger!

In the end, I feel great - I feel more confident and more together. I hit the gym last night and did my upper body workout......I'm feeling it a bit today but that is a good sign! Tonight is spin class and the usual routine will start back up. I have decided; however, to allow myself 2 days off from the gym.....I have a ton going on during the holidays and I really need the extra time! All in all, I am really psyched about how controlled my eating was - no crazy brocolli binges, no caving to cauliflower and panic attacks over egg whites - been a long time since I felt so in tune - I think my little experiment did prove to me that I have to cut myself some slack occassionally. Sometimes it is okay to relax with it and trust your instincts - diets/WW/healthy eating/fitness plans are great but someone with my personality can definitely run the wrong direction with it. You start listening to the WW gods as opposed to listening to your own body - or I did. Diet mentality sets in and suddenly stomach growls are like battle scars......how does Healthy, Thin Barbie get morphed into Sad, Hungry Barbie??? Sad, Hungry Barbie looks like crap, feels like crap and is pretty useless....she does lots of self loathing and negative talk - she hates everything about her and completely loses focus on anything positive, chosing to focus on the latest sag, bag or wrinkle - in fact, she is so busy listening to that garbage that she can't tell if her stomach is growling or not??? So I vow to stay Healthy, Energetic Barbie - I enjoy her so much more than Starving Bitchy Barbie!

Oh yeah, Thanksgiving and my birthday were great! My sweet hubby did perfect on my birthday - got me the MP3 player that I had been wanting and put it in a bag shaped like a castle with the Disney Princess' on it.....my card was made out to "My Pretty Pretty Princess" - that's what he calls me......I know, I'm a lucky girl! He also bought me a huge bouquet of flowers and everything was sitting out on the counter when I woke up on Friday morning - it really was sweet! After I opened my gift I finished up the food for lunch and off we went out to the campsite for Thanksgiving with the inlaws. It was cold and windy so we only stayed from Noon to 7:00 - we left the kiddo with grandma and grandpa and came home to hang out together......it wasn't dinner and dancing - in fact I smelled horrible from the campfire and I looked a mess from the cold wind/rain but we had fun and I knew that I was loved.....that's what matters, right??

Saturday was more birthday festivities with my mom and then Sunday was house cleaning and Christmas decorations.....now that I think about it, I may not have made it to the gym but I don't think I sat down either! I hope you all had a great day/weekend! We made it through the first of the holiday season without any casualties - just a few more weeks and life will really return to a more normal state! (((HUGS)))