This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Sometimes Being a Quitter is Smart!

So I have a zillion things to update on but really the most important of all is how much "being a quitter" for a week has improved my mental health! Ahhhh...I feel completely refreshed and in control. I guess I didn't realize how freaked out I had gotten with this whole diet/exercise thing....really, this is a lifestyle and if I have to live like I have lived over the last few weeks then it isn't worth it. I had a plan and I stuck to it.......I AM capable of going off track and getting right back on.....I knew that but I guess I lost that faith in my abilities at some point along the way. I actually went almost an entire week with no gym.....know what, after the first day or two I didn't feel the need to totally freak out because I wasn't burning calories....I adjusted my eating and ate a few bites of things that I really loved and I didn't even splurge on desserts! I think that was because I felt satisfied and I knew that I could have some if I wanted to....okay, I did have a bite of pumpkin cheesecake but it was only one bite and it was in public - not in the darkness of my garage and scooped out of the pan with my finger!

In the end, I feel great - I feel more confident and more together. I hit the gym last night and did my upper body workout......I'm feeling it a bit today but that is a good sign! Tonight is spin class and the usual routine will start back up. I have decided; however, to allow myself 2 days off from the gym.....I have a ton going on during the holidays and I really need the extra time! All in all, I am really psyched about how controlled my eating was - no crazy brocolli binges, no caving to cauliflower and panic attacks over egg whites - been a long time since I felt so in tune - I think my little experiment did prove to me that I have to cut myself some slack occassionally. Sometimes it is okay to relax with it and trust your instincts - diets/WW/healthy eating/fitness plans are great but someone with my personality can definitely run the wrong direction with it. You start listening to the WW gods as opposed to listening to your own body - or I did. Diet mentality sets in and suddenly stomach growls are like battle scars......how does Healthy, Thin Barbie get morphed into Sad, Hungry Barbie??? Sad, Hungry Barbie looks like crap, feels like crap and is pretty useless....she does lots of self loathing and negative talk - she hates everything about her and completely loses focus on anything positive, chosing to focus on the latest sag, bag or wrinkle - in fact, she is so busy listening to that garbage that she can't tell if her stomach is growling or not??? So I vow to stay Healthy, Energetic Barbie - I enjoy her so much more than Starving Bitchy Barbie!

Oh yeah, Thanksgiving and my birthday were great! My sweet hubby did perfect on my birthday - got me the MP3 player that I had been wanting and put it in a bag shaped like a castle with the Disney Princess' on it.....my card was made out to "My Pretty Pretty Princess" - that's what he calls me......I know, I'm a lucky girl! He also bought me a huge bouquet of flowers and everything was sitting out on the counter when I woke up on Friday morning - it really was sweet! After I opened my gift I finished up the food for lunch and off we went out to the campsite for Thanksgiving with the inlaws. It was cold and windy so we only stayed from Noon to 7:00 - we left the kiddo with grandma and grandpa and came home to hang out together......it wasn't dinner and dancing - in fact I smelled horrible from the campfire and I looked a mess from the cold wind/rain but we had fun and I knew that I was loved.....that's what matters, right??

Saturday was more birthday festivities with my mom and then Sunday was house cleaning and Christmas decorations.....now that I think about it, I may not have made it to the gym but I don't think I sat down either! I hope you all had a great day/weekend! We made it through the first of the holiday season without any casualties - just a few more weeks and life will really return to a more normal state! (((HUGS)))

9 comments:

WeightBGone said...

Steph

Thank you for such kind comments on my blog. You are such a wonderful person and lift my spirits when I need it most.

I think you and I are on the same page when it comes to this weight loss journey. I too just took a few days away from it all and relaxed while enjoying the holiday. I didnt go overboard on anything but took time out to enjoy my family. Instead of focusing on working out and continously thinking about calories and points I relaxed enjoyed life.

It felt good to take a few days off so now I can focus on the days ahead with a more positive attitude.

I think everyone needs a break now and then. I am realizing its ok to do that but dont let the time off get out of hand is key for me.

I hope your week is as beautiful as you are. :)

I heart you!!

Weigh to go..lets see said...

You done Great...I am proud of you for your accomplishments..I admire your dedication and reading what you wrote shows that you are where you want to be, I feel like if you start doing things that you were trying to change then your not where you need to be, but you are...I think maybe people need a break sometimes, even dieters...I dont mean to go out and chow down but, kind of a mental break, I have found this weight loss journey can be a very ..ummm lets say stressful one, I am the same way, I tend to put myself down so much that I normally say, you know what, I just can't do it...This time I am doing it, and its reading blogs like yours that gives me the strengh I need..Thank You and congrats

NCChris said...

Hey girlie girl - I'm so glad you had a fab b-day and Thanksgiving! You are a diva and are just an awesome inspiration to me!

-Chris

PS: about the dress -- is cream an accent color? If so, I would totally go with a cream colored shrug (maybe with gold flecks or threading...that's totally hot this season) and then some bruched gold flats/ballet flats (think classy not holy disco era!)

Steph said...

I NEVER thought about cream - that is why you are fashion diva barbie!!! Thank you so much!!! Also I don't have any cream shoes but they would be a great addition to my shoe closet and I was going to have to buy ANOTHER pair of black ones for this event anyway!!

YOU ROCK!!

noelle said...

So glad that you got yourself back on track. Where you were reminded me of an interview I saw with Courtney Thorne-Smith who developed an eating order of sorts because she got so neurotic about what she should and shouldn't eat...low fat, low carbs, low sugar, no red meat, no processed foods...to the point where eating became paralyzing.

I don't think we are supposed to live like that. I don't think we can live like that, at least not for very long.

Colette said...

WOW...Steph I like this new Barbie you have become! The other one scared me...LOL....jk

But seriously I am glad you have found some peace and your nitch in the whole diet/exercise scheme of things!

You are such a success and so many look up to you.....I honestly can't imagne you thinking about yourself that way!!
Glad you had a great birthday...Oh Happy Belated Birthday too!!

I heart you....{{{HUGS}}}}
Colette

MMalloy said...

I am so glad you had a stress free thanksgiving and birthday. I too thought of you this weekend. My future MIL was asking me about my WW journey and how I stay motivated and I thought of my blogger friends and everything they do for me. I couldn't explain to her how much it meant to have this type of outlet, but I realized how much it has done for me.
It is so cool that you had a snowflake theme for your wedding. I will start posting wedding plans soon and you MUST give me ideas. Rosie gave me 2 crystal snowflakes for Christmas last year, I love the idea of putting those in the bouqet so I might borrow that idea!!!

NCChris said...

Glad you liked the cream idea! Check out som ecream flats, but give the brushed gold a shot too...you never know, you might really like them! ;)
-Chris

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

Glad it went well... Glad you decided to take sad hungry back to the store for a refund.