This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Keeping it short

Hi all - I wish that I could explain my absence by saying I have been away on some exciting tropical vacation or that I've even got a good reason for being MIA - but no, not really, I got nothing! Well actually, I have been pretty busy with the holidays and then there was a death in my best friend's family so I have felt the pressure of that but other than that - I've been pretty much caught up in artifical hormone hell! So I feel like crap, look like crap and worst of all I have not been exercising. Not exercising only magnifies the problem by allowing me NO way to relieve some of my stress - now my Ken, on the other hand, seems to think that sex is a stress reliever.........well it would be if I didn't feel like a damn circus monkey that is performing on command! Not to mention, at this point, sex for me is to make a baby barbie and obviously that isn't working out so well........sooooooo I'm a little hesitant to do much of anything in that department right now.

As you can tell I'm a little hormonal today (was yesterday too) but hopefully in the next few days I'll be back to normal. I'm not kidding you, progesterone makes me insane. The bloating is horrific, the mood swings are worse and basically I feel pretty insane (more so than usual). Maybe I'm just a baby and things aren't so bad.......??? Don't you just hate when you can't tell if the crisis is real or in your head? My one solace, is that I know there is a plan.........whatever that plan is, I don't know but I know that it is already in place. Now my job is to continue doing what I can to get to my goal! I have to admit though, I have found myself really battling the "screw it" mentality lately. Forget exercise and diet, forget focusing on good health, forget being rational and calculating, forget being goal oriented - you know just that - lay in bed, pull the covers up and refuse to come out mentality - it was nice for a day or two but of course work called this morning so I pulled my butt up and got dressed. It will be fine, no - it will be better than fine - it will be GREAT!! I will be great, by the end of 2008 I'll be holding a new baby in my arms and working off my preggo weight gain - that's one diet i won't mind a bit!!

Okay I already feel better, more like myself and more in the groove! I'm shaking off the heartaches of 2007 and running towards what I want in 2008 - hmmmm, do I gain AP points for that??? Okay, I'll be back tonight to post how my workout went - wish me luck. It's been 3 weeks since I've been to this class and it's a killer when I go every week........I should be sore tomorrow!

HUGS to you all!


Kate said...

You know, I also go through that where I can't tell if there is an actual crisis or it's just in my head, I love being insane, it's way fun!

I'm sure '08 is gonna rock for you (and you will finally get that baby barbie!) and I'm sure once everything gets back to routine, you will feel wonderful!

Swizzlepop said...

I've missed you! Glad you're back but sorry to hear that things are icky. I know how that goes. Just remember to breathe, try and think logically and exercise WILL help. Sounds like you have plan for the baby Barbie so just stay positive and you'll have one this time next year.
Can't wait to hear about your gym experience, I know it will be a good one!

Happy New Year!!!!!!!!!

Amanda said...

Hormones suck! I feel for you, I really do!!! I hope you get all you are dreaming for and more in 2008! And that you feel back to "normal" soon!!!

holly said...

Glad you're back! I think we all have those days where we're feeling insane..I don't think we'd be human if we didn't have those types of days. I wish you well in 2008!!

Sarah said...

Hope you are feeling better! We'll all be praying for a baby barbie - what a great goal for 2008!