WOW - I have a thousand things to update about and also some interesting realizations that have come to me. First, I wound up visting the fertility doc on an emergency basis because that horribe progesterone didn't work - so I went through 10 days of swelling, sweating and crying for nothing....so I thought. After talking to the doc he finally agreed to let me start on the next round of clomid so cross your fingers girls - I'm hoping that this month is it. If not, then I'm okay - I'm really trying to relax with this whole thing and not stay so stressed out about it. I'll keep you all updated though.
The diamonds and drinking came in yesterday. It was mine and the hubby's 3 year anniversary and so we planned an evening out. Just dinner and maybe a movie but a DATE nonetheless - now, normally I would freak out. Really, I cry when i have to go out to eat. In fact, this is a such a traumatic thing for me that I haven't eaten out in over a year...I just can't do it without totally getting myself worked up. Well I decided yesterday that I was going to relax with it and I did. We went out, had dinner (I did great with the food - grilled fish, green beans, spaghetti squash) but had A LOT of wine......a whole bottle - eek! Honestly, I don't feel bad at all about the evening - we had a great time and it really made me realize how much I miss not stressing about diets, calories, exercise, points, etc......at some point it isn't worth the headache AND heartache of missing out on your whole life. Rich and I actually got reconnect last night - we were a team again. We had fun and talked and laughed..........I had forgotten what it was like to be in love like that!
The diamonds part came in when I got my anniversary gift...........he bought me an amazing sapphire and diamond ring along with a gorgeous tear drop necklace to match.......I almost passed out. First he never buys jewelry unless I ask for it and second because I knew we would be paying for it for a long time.....the paying part was my common sense side coming out - didn't take me long to shut her up though! It is absolutely beautiful and our night was perfect! Those are the moments that make the hard times worth it........those are the memories that pull you through!
As for my affair with Gym - I missed last night, of course and I have to have an outpatient type procedure done on Thursday that will put me out of commission for that class too........so I'll hit the circuit training/step class tonight and spin class on Saturday. That will make at least 3 hours of exercise for the week and I may try to sneak in another quickie on Friday??? Again, I'll do what I can but right now I'm enjoying not being so neurotic........maybe I should drink more often???
I have a ton of blogs to catch up on - I'll be lurking around and checking up on everyone. I just have to say to everyone that is on the healthy journey - it is a journey. I realized this morning that we get so caught up in wanting more and more or should I say less and less of ourselves that we forget to just appreciate what we have. If you have healthy children, hug them. If you have a hubby that adores you, love him back. If you have a great boss or friend, flash them a smile or send a thank you to them........take it from me, it is a sad thing to wake up and realize that you have made yourself miserable for soooo long. I caught a glimpse of who I used to be last night and I miss her - I miss being fun and laughing. Enjoying dinner, a glass of wine and good conversation. As much as I enjoyed last night, knowing that I've wasted the last year makes me sad......how many times have I passed up opportunities to be "me"??? Don't pass up opportunities - be proud of who you are and what you've done - we have accomplished so much and we should be celebrating every day!!