Whew - what a day and it isn't over by a long shot! Busy is the only way that I can sum it up but I did manage to get in 2 small meals, then I'll hit the gym and head home for a quick dinner! I never thought that I would enjoy exercise but last night I was so pumped up after my spin class that I felt like I was on cloud 9. I started my gym regime 4 weeks ago and at that point, the spin class was impossible.....I could barely hang on at the minimum and last night I made it all the way through the class with the others - no falling off my bike, sitting down, stopping - just sweat and determination! I am so incredibly proud of myself!!
Not only did my spin class go insanely great but I got home to Ken having painted my whole living room!!! I was soooooo suprised and excited - he said that he knew how anxious I was so he wanted to get it done for me! The color is perfect AND to top it off, the guy even cleaned up the house some.........I no longer live in a war zone - yipee!!! Amazing what a coat of paint and a good workout can do for a girl - LOL!
So I have been thinking a lot about why we "dieters" think of food as the enemy??? Maybe you all don't think about it in that manner but for the last couple of years I have seen food as something that caused me frustration and heartache.........I am now realizing how demented that thinking was. I am getting a hold on things that make me feel good and realizing that building muscle and losing fat through exercise and minor changes is the way to go........depriving myself only causes more anguish and irritation. Now the trick is keeping this mindset day in and day out.......easier said than done!
I've really been spending some time trying to work through some issues, namely with food, and I think that even though I took the initiative to lose the weight I still refused to accept the blame for being overweight. It was always family, functions, the food, being genetically inclined to be obese, etc. The reality of it is that I am what I eat.........the reason that I struggled and still struggle with weight is because of daily choices that I make, such as, eating unhealthy, not eating, not exercising, etc. None of these things, if done occassionally is wrong or "bad" but making those same debilitating choices day in and day out is the problem. My new theory is that I can do anything for one day - then I just get up the next day and say the same thing.......really it's the same mindset that I had while losing weight - now I want to be thin but healthy.......I want to be active and happy and ALIVE - I will always be a Barbie but I want to be the best damn Barbie that I can be with what I've been given!
Sorry for the rant - stepping off the Barbie soapbox and heading out to they gym! By the way - still writing on my book - I have about 50 pages done now - the problem is that they aren't in any kind of sequential order but really more random. Hopefully it will all make sense when I'm done???