This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

When Did Food Become Our Enemy??

Whew - what a day and it isn't over by a long shot! Busy is the only way that I can sum it up but I did manage to get in 2 small meals, then I'll hit the gym and head home for a quick dinner! I never thought that I would enjoy exercise but last night I was so pumped up after my spin class that I felt like I was on cloud 9. I started my gym regime 4 weeks ago and at that point, the spin class was impossible.....I could barely hang on at the minimum and last night I made it all the way through the class with the others - no falling off my bike, sitting down, stopping - just sweat and determination! I am so incredibly proud of myself!!

Not only did my spin class go insanely great but I got home to Ken having painted my whole living room!!! I was soooooo suprised and excited - he said that he knew how anxious I was so he wanted to get it done for me! The color is perfect AND to top it off, the guy even cleaned up the house some.........I no longer live in a war zone - yipee!!! Amazing what a coat of paint and a good workout can do for a girl - LOL!

So I have been thinking a lot about why we "dieters" think of food as the enemy??? Maybe you all don't think about it in that manner but for the last couple of years I have seen food as something that caused me frustration and heartache.........I am now realizing how demented that thinking was. I am getting a hold on things that make me feel good and realizing that building muscle and losing fat through exercise and minor changes is the way to go........depriving myself only causes more anguish and irritation. Now the trick is keeping this mindset day in and day out.......easier said than done!

I've really been spending some time trying to work through some issues, namely with food, and I think that even though I took the initiative to lose the weight I still refused to accept the blame for being overweight. It was always family, functions, the food, being genetically inclined to be obese, etc. The reality of it is that I am what I eat.........the reason that I struggled and still struggle with weight is because of daily choices that I make, such as, eating unhealthy, not eating, not exercising, etc. None of these things, if done occassionally is wrong or "bad" but making those same debilitating choices day in and day out is the problem. My new theory is that I can do anything for one day - then I just get up the next day and say the same thing.......really it's the same mindset that I had while losing weight - now I want to be thin but healthy.......I want to be active and happy and ALIVE - I will always be a Barbie but I want to be the best damn Barbie that I can be with what I've been given!

Sorry for the rant - stepping off the Barbie soapbox and heading out to they gym! By the way - still writing on my book - I have about 50 pages done now - the problem is that they aren't in any kind of sequential order but really more random. Hopefully it will all make sense when I'm done???


Renee said...

I'm so glad you're loving the gym. I also just started going about 4 weeks ago and I can't stay away. I haven't tried the spin classes yet, rather I discovered BodyPump and I'm so addicted to the feeling of empowerment and achievement when I'm done! It's the BEST. Exercise has totally changed the way I think of food... like you, I used to think of it as the enemy. Now that I'm expending so much energy at the gym it's like I HAVE to eat more, especially if I want to see myself succeed at an athletic level. Food is not so much a temptation these days, rather it's what fuels my workouts and nourishes my body. Revolutionary concept, I know!! Especially to "us dieters" :o)

Colette said...

GET THE F*&!$ OUT!!!!! I can't believe this Steph said she "enjoys exercise"!! LOL....

Girl I am so incredably PROUD of you!! I told ya I am scared of that spin class and those Nazi Instructors....shit scares me all the way here in New Olreans just listening to you!!

You are so rocking it and you are destined to do some great things'll see!

I am glad ken was a good boy and did that to suprise you. Isn't it a wonderful feeling to have your house back together?

I too can relate to the "enemy" comment!! I would love the food so I stuffed myself sick but then I hated it because of what it failure to control my eating.
Now for the first time I AM IN CONTROL....the food WORKS for me NOT against me!!!! Nothing short of amazing if you ask me!

I heart you!!

WeightBGone said...


I'm so proud of you!!! You are an amazing person in so many ways and my inspiration.

You are working through your food issues and coming up with answers to help you. I need to do some soul searching myself.

What a guy Ken is to paint and clean up the house. I know that made his Barbie happy and you were deserving of his kindness.

Great job on the exercising you are going to town with that. Keep it up!!

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

So glad you had a great day friend.

Candace said...

I think I need to have your Ken chat with my Ken.
When's the house go on the market? Crazy that we wait until we're moving to do what would have made us happy all along, huh. Not sure if I could handle your Y. Glad you're finding your niche there, though.

MMalloy said...

Sounds like a great day Steph. You are so awesome for getting back up after the first spin class and making excersice rewarding. You are trully making a great change for yourself.
I also think it is great you are facing some of the issues you have with food. We all need to do it, just admitting the problem is hard.
I hope more good suprises are in store for you from Ken! What a great reward for all your hard work!

Candace said...

Hi Steph,
I designed my own yoga program back when I was, like, 16 from my Mom's books. It was great, but my stick-to-it-iveness was pretty sad back then. That was right around the time I quit Figure Skating and Basketball. A couple of years ago I took Ci a few times to the rink and couldn't even stop.
Anyway, last year we went up for a half-hour session mid-class (I take a ballet hip/hop combo) and it was quite fun, except for the having to take your sneakers off after dancing for 30 minutes (ugh). I thought it would just be something different for me, but I do love dance class and didn't want to give it up.
Since I had hoped to swim on Tuesday, WW on Wednesday, dance on Thursday, well - not really fair to hubby to jam something else in. Luckily I don't have to choose, and Tuesday is also Ci's dance, so Mark can take her down (read, go home, whatever - it's 2 hrs) and I can take Jess to the pool.
I'll keep you informed as to how the yoga, dance and swimming is going. I just feel so pumped this week - like there's new beginnings.

Kate from AZ said...

I know exactly what you mean about food being the enemy...SO frustrating and really sad!

So you totally make me want to exercise (which is good, it's been 2 weeks almost)...
Keep up the great work!

NCChris said...


You say it so much better than I think it (if that makes any sense at all!).