Hmmmm - how to sum up the first half of this week in one word - rough! Yeah, Aunt Flo is kicking my ass right now and on top of that I am weaning myself off of some anti-depressant meds that the doc put me on last year - I am actually very excited about getting rid of the meds and can attribute my ability to do this to EXERCISE. It's the truth - exercise is better than Effexor any day!! Honestly, I have no idea why that quack doctor put me on that crap last year other than I went into his office in tears because I hadn't been able to sleep - evidently he confused insomnia and sleep deprivation for depression. Finally made it to my usual doctor and he agreed that I don't need the meds - now I just have to deal with the withdrawls...........that part sucks!
My poor sweet hubby has been amazing..........sometimes he can really suprise me with his super sensitive self. He has been very supportive and "available". He reminds me that I'm doing great and has been encouraging me to get to the gym as this really does help with the down times. All in all, I'm doing pretty good with it except for me eating...........I haven't done bad, per say, but I have been eating an average of 28 points a day..........this isn't too bad because I have been exercising but I've been consuming a lot of this crap at night...........the boredom and insomnia have gotten the best of me over the last few days. Not to mention TOM is here and like I said - she is kicking my ass!! I'm hanging in there though and today is a new day, right??? I'm a little afraid of what Friday will bring, especially since I feel like a beached whale right now.
Speaking of my Ken - he confessed last night - he googled my blog and read it..........I don't know how I feel about it really. I had specifically asked him not to read it because I needed the ability to talk openly about my "issues" without fear of judgement from anyone. He said that it made him laugh and cry all at the same time. He apologized of course and promised not to read it again...........I guess I can't be too mad at him because I probably would have done the same thing but just never told him that I did it. I guess we all have our insecurities and he did say that he freaked out a bit when he saw my post labeled "I want a divorce" - poor guy!! He really is great in the sense that he allows me to whine about my weight and obsess over food and exercise. He doesn't criticize and tells me every single day that I'm beautiful and sexy..........I know that he adores me - hell he more than adores me and for the most part I take that for granted. With all of his wonderful traits, he still doesn't fully understand my paranoia with food and fat and weight.......he tries but if you have never really experienced it then you just can't fully understand. I really do have to give him credit though - he tries so hard and God knows I don't make it easy!
I still have yet to post about the insane class on Saturday - I have to get that down because if I didn't get a good workout then at least I got a good laugh...........it reminded me a bit of Dancing With The Stars meets Sweatin to the Oldies! Watch out Richard Simmons! Gotta run - another all day meeting today.......wish me luck........must stay awake!!!