That is what Trixie said to Barbie this morning as she held her down and showed her who was boss - yep that's right girls!!! Got up this morning only to look in the mirror and think - ACK - what the hell happened to you last night - Barbie started in with her mantra of you look like you fell out of an ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down........God the voices in my head - haha!! So I drug my self out of bed and got in the shower - feeling rather bloated and blech & then it HIT ME (no literally the damn soap holder fell off the wall and hit me in the head - YOW!) so I took that as a sign. I suddenly realized that while yes, I would love to have Barbie's perky boobs, tiny waist, toned plastic body and perfect bleach blonde hair, the best I got is Trixie in a pair of rhinestone jeans and a stiletto heeled boots so what did I do - I know you are all waiting in anticipation. I got out of the shower and marched to the closet to drag out my FERGILICIOUS OUTFIT!! Yep I am now sitting in my office on casual Friday wearing spike heeled boots, sparkly jeans, a scoop necked top and this really cute hat............I feel great but I look more like I'm going to the disco??? People are kind of staring and wondering "Where the Heck is Steph??" I don't give a damn though - today I ran over Barbie in my crappy old Chevy Impala and I made her shut her mouth!! Unfortunately, I realized when I got to the office that I have a few meetings that I have to walk to sooooooo Barbie may get the last laugh as I soak my feet in epsom salt tonight but for right now I feel like a million bucks - I may look more like a 5 dollar bill but I feel like million - haha!! Nothing like "hookering" it up to make you feel better about yourself - even the guy at the gas station paid me some extra attention - you got it, he tried extra hard to sell me one of those greasy bacon sandwiches that he prepares every morning, ewwww. And IF he didn't smell like bacon grease and look like he dipped his head in a vat of it, I might just be flattered........I'm kind of thinking that this guy is really desperate to sell bacon sandwiches but like I said, I'll take it anyway I can get it.
So I'm off to my first meeting at City Hall - this should be good. Then I'm off to a construction site - those trips are always fun cause those guys would whistle at ET coming down the road - so I'm figuring by the end of the day I will feel less like a used up soccer mom and more like ME and/or Trixie - either way, I just gotta get out of soccer mom mode and get back to loving my life.
Have a great day all - I'll be back to report on my feet soon!!
This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture
5 comments:
haha Steph you crack me up girl. I love the "get it where you can get it" attitude. I was in Mickey D's one day and this really nice guy was checking me out and I so noticed and was flirting bak by looking long and hard into his eyes and I WALKED INTO A WALL!! hahaha talk about embarassed!!
I just posted something for you on my blog. Check it out!! And ohhhhh would I love to see the reaction you get at the site today!! Girl you SHAKE IT when you go there today!!! hahaha
Chat with ya later and have a good day!!
LOL, Good luck with the heels. I USED to be able to wear heels, like 15-20 years ago. Not anymore! Maybe when I hit 150 and/or have complete the hair removal process on my wilderbeast legs (go laser or go home), I may be tempted to 'hooker it up'. Right now the only lookers I would get are from hubby (even so, I love it when he looks at me and say 'YUMM, MOMMY' - MEN!)
OMG too funny. I must admit I was beginning to wonder who Trixie was (I think I missed a post) but now I know. You seriously crack me up! Speaking of Fergie do you watch So You Think You Can Dance? She was on last night with some hookerific shoes that I KNOW were to high to really walk in based on her moves AND because I've tried pairs on in that same height before ;). You strut your stuff today! Watch it at the construction site, you don't want to be held liable for one of those men losing a limb from staring :).
PS
Don't worry if your toes go numb, the feeling does come back eventually. I like to call that "conditioning."
Oh my gosh, I am laughing so hard over here. You are hilarious!!! I hope you feel sexy and got tons of whistles today!
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