Arghhhhh - please forgive this post in advance - I am so completely frustrated that I am going to explode if I don't just write it down! First let me start by saying that I am incredibly blessed, really. I have a husband who thinks I'm a princess, a great 10 year old step-son and the most wonderful family that I could ask for BUT - YES BUT - The last few weeks have been torture to say the least!! You see with Summer break there are a slew of activities that the kiddo is involved in - unfortunately these all take a toll on mine and hubbys time together. I work Mon - Fri until 5:30 and typically the husband works the same general schedule. Well with all of the Summer activities he has been working nights to be able to keep the kid mobile. Now I'm a good sport and I am usually the one responsible for coming up with all of these great ideas but damn......come on - it has been like 5 weeks since my husband and I have done more than just pass in the hallway. He is gone when I get home and I'm asleep when he gets home.....this sucks!!! It would be different if we had been married for a zillion years but we haven't even hit 3 years yet so I still kind of like him! I know, I know - quit your damn whining and get a grip! Well to make matters worse - this whole not seeing each other is putting dear hubby in a "wonderful" (rolling my eyes) mood. Now mind you he was off work Sunday night and Monday night but he chose to play cards with the boys and hang out with his buddies - okay whatever - but don't bitch at me 2 days after the fact.......sorry I don't wanna hear it! Anyway, last night I made the mad dash to pick up my stepson and head to dinner with my in-laws (Wednesday ritual at which I don't eat but just sit and sip water while trying not to chew off my freakin arm - I mean we could pick a more helthy restaurant but NO we always end up at a Mexican restaurant). Hubby is at work - it is pourind down rain AGAIN so the streets are flooded.........I call hubby at work and ask how he is - he replies "life sucks" - well hell great to talk to you too! Geez, I said well I was thinking of making your favorite dinner tonight, meatloaf, mashed potatoes, pea salad, corn bread - this isn't fun as I had to go to the grocery store and then come home and cook this whole meal - which of course put off my dinner AGAIN. He responds with, "okay, whatever" - I just sat there stunned - okay well how about SCREW YOU!!! I know that meatloaf doesn't fix everything but crap - I'm trying here to do something nice for you and all I get is whatever. Needless to say I fixed the damn dinner and pouted the whole time. Rather than being a labor of love I got bitter about it.........bitterness is such a waste of time too!!
Don't know girls - sometimes I just want a break from it all - WOW - I feel so overwhelmed with the wife and parenting duties! So I didn't do great on my eating last night - it's that getting up in the middle of the night thing - I have to break that habit!!! It could have also been the smell of meatloaf and mashed potatoes wafting through my house on a paticularly stormy night when I was feeling really used up and unappreciated.......geez, can you hear the violing playing for me!! So I got sucker punched by the comfort food - just a few bites here and there but then of course I ate my usual dinner too so basically I just ate to be eating.
On a good note - I did get my jiggly butt out and walk yesterday - go me!! I did stairs and took three walks - somedays you gotta get in the exercise where you can.......you know. I am anxious to weigh on Saturday and I hope that the scale is good to me. I really need to feel like I'm on track and working in the right direction. I also really need to start taking some time for me and get back to working on my pitiful self image.....must make that a priority.
Sorry my blogs have been so BORING lately - I gotta find Trixie and pull her out - she was always fun and good for a laugh!
Talk to you later