This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Monday, June 25, 2007

First Post - REPOSTED

Yes - this is my first official WeightWatchen Blog but my umpteenth “first” blog. I seem to be really great at getting started but then fizzling out shortly after. Why……hmmm, I can think of a million reasons why like I don’t have time, I get bored, I am boring but in reality it is just that I get lazy. I get tired of tracking and obsessing - well actually I obsess without even thinking about it!! You see I went from 385 pounds to 140 pounds - yes, I am very proud of my accomplishment and yes, I realize that I am so much better off than I was BUT my brain and self image are still at 385 pounds. Some people chuckle when I say this but it has become a very serious self image issue. I seriously thought that as soon as I lost the weight that everything else would fall into place - Barbie would emerge from her cocoon of fat…..equipped with her pink corvette, perfect hair, lavish wardrobe and Ken doll in tow……….well, hmmmm, not so much. Rather than emerging a beautiful butterfly I have had to drag my tired, blubbery body to the finish line……….I am proud to be here regardless of the multiple brusies and gashes that I encountered along the way BUT there is no way that I am a butterfly or a Barbie. Hell I’m doing good to be a replica of Barbie’s disfigured cousin - rather than being Ken’s dream girl I look like GI Joe took a hand grenade to my belly……….nothing that a little clothing can’t cover up but it still isn’t the way that I imagined it……..I mean surely I would end up in a bikini on a tropical beach somewhere - being served fruity drinks by adoring men???? Nope - I’m still the girl wearing sweat pants to the beach. Fruity drinks - yeah right - can you say CALORIE OVERLOAD - the closest I get to fruity anything is an apple or a handful of strawberries.
I guess all in all I started this little journal/blog to give myself a forum to vent, stay accountable and hopefully offer/receive advice and friendship. Thanks for reading if you got this far. Make sure to check back cause my next post will prove to be full of fun and fascinating facts on sagging skin - I can hear the oooh’s and ahhh’s from the crowd!! Seriously it isn’t pretty to talk about but you know you wanna know the real deal~!

1 comment:

Jenn said...

I am from Roni's site too and am adding you as a friend :)