Owning the Number???

Okay now that we have rebuilt and gathered together I feel the need to confess......actually I should stand up and say "Hi, my name is Stephanie and I'm a foodaholic" - really! Things have gotten a bit out of control over the last few months. I'm not making excuses but between a job change, a major illness in our family and just plain laziness on my part I have managed to put on 10 pounds!!! That not only puts me at the TOP of my comfortable weight but also puts me in FREAK OUT mode!!! Weight is a very touchy subject for me and being over where I like to be is even more touchy so rather than be lax in my commitment to myself I am going to do something about it - now I did go to the gym on Saturday and I have survived a whole 13 minutes on the elliptical machine - trust me that is a big deal cause after 4 minutes I WANTED OFF that torture chamber from hell. People say "I love the elliptical machine" yeah right - I love cutting off my fingers, please??!! So here I am sweating like a pig on this machine - all the while an infomercial for some kitchen gadget (that makes souffles in 7 minutes) is playing on the tv set. It was not fun - there was no euphoria afterwards - I didn't resemble that cute, bubbly, "glowing" gym bunny at all! Rather I appeared to be a jiggly, middle aged mother that was in the process of going into cardiac arrest while salivating over some microwaved souffle.........just not a pretty sight! BUT all that said - I am going back tonight..........oh god my thighs are screaming out for mercy even as I type this! I am also commiting to eating in moderation - as I have mentioned previously, moderation is not something that I'm good at! I am an all or nothing girl in just about every aspect of my life so switching my mindset will be tough but will be worth it.........if I can live with the "mental" hunger for a few days then I know I can get back on track! The problem is that I am not usually terribly hungry for dinner but feel like I've barely eaten anything all day so I have to eat - then I end up overeating..........God it's a vicious cycle!!!

So as of today I am going to start posting my food log, exercise log and water intake - the weekends may be more challenging because I rarely get on the computer but I have to make this a priority - luckily I know what works for me so now I just have to make myself get motivated!!! The thing that makes me sad is that I didn't put on 10 pounds by eating fast food or ice cream but rather by eating too many veggies and too many diet foods.........yeah, it is a sad reality but you CAN gain weight just by eating too much food - it all has calories. I hate to think what I would look like had I applied my fast food eating habits with my recent quantities - oh dear god........it would be 30 pounds rather than 10!! YIKES!

So wish me luck - you girls are all soooo inspiring and if I can be of any help to anyone please let me know! By the way that is my magazine cover - I had such a blast on the trip and photo shoot!