This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Day ONE of the Eating Challenge

So yesterday was day one of my challenge to eat smaller, more frequent did I do?? I did manage to get in breakfast & lunch (both sized right)then I hit the gym. By the time I got home I was so busy making dinner for the hubby and son that it was 10:00 before I sat down - damn! Not only was it too late for me to meet my goal but I was starving so I didn't manage my portions like I wanted to. I still wouldn't say the day was a total bust though - I did manage to get in 1450 calories but points wise it only added up to 20 points. I understand the reason is because I eat mostly vegetables but maybe I should be counting points for those??? Ughhhh......I hate answering a question with a question! Sometimes I think I'm putting too much thought into it......I spend a lot of time asking myself how in the hell I managed to lose 245 pounds - like that is something that I can forget???

My next thought to ponder is what the hell should I expect from my weight training??? God knows that i have saggy skin so to think that I'm going to look like a bodybuilder is unrealistic BUT what the hell should I see. This is the nagging question - I see all the before and after photos and I know that my shit isn't going to shape up like that........I'm okay with that, well maybe not okay but accepting - it is what it is. So because visual signs are harder to see, unless I pull up the pannus and stretch back the bat wings, I am struggling. Maybe I should measure body fat??? Does body fat take in to account for skin? ACKKKK.....what is a Barbie to do???

So those are all the things that I don't know about.......some things that I do know about are:

1. I wouldn't trade my weight loss for anything. Skin or no skin - I know I look better!
2. Exercise is way better than Effexor and if you haven't tried it, you should! I hated it in the beginning but now I really enjoy my time with my lover, Gym.
3. I miss fast food sometimes but it is a mental thing.......that being said, I still struggle to make the break from the mental/emotional pull of food. Food holds so much for me - good days and bad days can be made on how and what I eat......I need to get a grip to ever be permanently fixed. Maybe I won't ever be fixed - maybe I will always be a recovering food junkie - either way I will learn to live with it!
4. I have lost 3 inches from my hips since August - don't start jumping for joy just yet girls - this was 3 inches that I gained from my lowest so I'm back to where I was. Now the problem is that my butt is located in a different region of my backside so my damn pants still don't fit right!!! Who knew that your ass positioning could change so much???
5. Logging my food is a good thing for me - thanks to my pal Swizzle!! This was a real eye opener for me. Trust me, I thought I was the Mother Theresa of diets - NOT SO! My calories were pretty in line with where they should have been for maintenance - no wonder I wasn't losing!
6. Knowledge is your friend - reading blogs, journals, articles, books, etc. has helped to keep me motivated and losing.
7. Last but not least, losing weight and maintenance are different but they present their own set of challenges and are equally as difficult.

Guess that is enough of my rambling for today - I'll report back tomorrow with Day 2 results.....wish me luck!


Colette said...

3 inches you say????? YEAH!!! Damn your doing so good. I have been gaining and losing the same 3 lbs
for fricking MONTHS!!!!
your lucky I heart you or I'd be jealous!! LOL

Candace said...

Congrats on the new lover. A lot of stuff changes - I don't know when under the boobs became the new home for my stomach, but I'll be happy if it ever decides to go back below the belly button where it used to be.

Amanda said...

I was going to say no your body won't look like a body builder b/c you have a pannus but you beat me to it. Makes me laugh EVERY time you say pannus.

I think you're doing awesome. You have now become the gym bunny barbie taking over for me. That's okay though. :)

Oh and my boss is a woman...she used the old age excuse (she's in her 40s and I don't think that's old). And no we are not finding out what we are you'll have to wait until next spring just like me. :)

swizzlepop said...

Did you read my previous comment before I even posted it? I think Amanda and I have a thing for the word pannus. LOL
3 inches is a great loss! You're really doing well and to take on a second lover, Gym, I'm sure he is WAY better than Banana Pudding, especially since you can be with him out in the open ;).

SO what do we have to do to get Ken to cook for himself or at least help so that you can eat at a decent time?

I haven't counted points in like 2 weeks, just calories etc. Your 1450 cal/20 point day is a perfect example why. Points don't always equal calories and vice versa. I say focus on the calories and still track points but don't obsess over them ;)