Sorry for my most recent hiatus - I have been lurking but haven't had much time to actually think and write. First let me start by saying the walk was incredible. It was moving, motivating and just an awesome experience. I spent A LOT of time fighting the tears as I watched a sea of pink t-shirts (survivors) and white mingled - I reflected on my priorities and goals.......I cried for the amazing strength that these survivors have and for my own weakness and unwillingness to just enjoy some of the simpler things in life. I would have to say that it was one of the most rewarding and moving things I have ever done........it required little effort but the payoff was incredible!
On to the party - I actually made it home to lay down for an hour before having to get up to hooker it up for the party. I secretly bought some black and white striped panties to wear under my costume - then told my prisoner during the evening that I was actually a bad cop.......LMAO - needless to say Ken was ready to leave the party half an hour after we got there! I did really good but right before we arrived I started freaking out - the "fat girl mentality" got to me and suddenly I was transformed into my former 385 pound self........all of the old nagging thoughts started up and I found myself thinking "what in the hell have I done?".....I survived though and managed to turn a few heads at the party - the owner of the house happened to be dressed in a costume just like the hubby's - his wife was dressed as a much more subdued cop and to say that he wanted us to trade prisoners would be an understatement.....every time Rich left my side this guy was right there - at one point he mentioned his Viagra and ran his hand up my back......uh, okay time to go now! We had a good time but I was exhausted so we only stayed a few hours......the best time came when we got home.....LOL - I won't go any further with that! I did get some pictures of me in costume that I have to get developed and then I will post them....yes I said developed - I don't own a digital camera......I am so 1990's!!
Okay one last thing before I head out - we got some very devestating news about my sister in law - seems that the chemo isn't helping fight the cancer and basically if they continue to treat her she probably won't make it. She can't even tolerate a half dose at this point and so basically they have sent her home with not a lot of options. We will find out for sure what else is left to do but we already know that radiation is out so.......? My family and I have been through a whirlwind of emotions with this......anger, fear, sorrow - how is it possible that this is really happening - she is 39, she is educated, loving, the all american mother, a wonderful wife and daughter, funny, beautiful - she is all these things but now those are outweighed by the fact that she is dying. There are children that will forever be scarred by cancer......a family that will cease to exist at the hands of this horrible disease! Again, we are trying to go through the motions at this point but it is not an easy ride......please say a prayer for my sister in law and our family.
Also, while you are saying a prayer for my family, please remember those in California......the fires there are terrifying and so many are displaced and lost.....we, that are healthy and safe, have so much to be thankful for!