This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

The Weekend and the LONG Week!

Sorry for my most recent hiatus - I have been lurking but haven't had much time to actually think and write. First let me start by saying the walk was incredible. It was moving, motivating and just an awesome experience. I spent A LOT of time fighting the tears as I watched a sea of pink t-shirts (survivors) and white mingled - I reflected on my priorities and goals.......I cried for the amazing strength that these survivors have and for my own weakness and unwillingness to just enjoy some of the simpler things in life. I would have to say that it was one of the most rewarding and moving things I have ever required little effort but the payoff was incredible!

On to the party - I actually made it home to lay down for an hour before having to get up to hooker it up for the party. I secretly bought some black and white striped panties to wear under my costume - then told my prisoner during the evening that I was actually a bad cop.......LMAO - needless to say Ken was ready to leave the party half an hour after we got there! I did really good but right before we arrived I started freaking out - the "fat girl mentality" got to me and suddenly I was transformed into my former 385 pound self........all of the old nagging thoughts started up and I found myself thinking "what in the hell have I done?".....I survived though and managed to turn a few heads at the party - the owner of the house happened to be dressed in a costume just like the hubby's - his wife was dressed as a much more subdued cop and to say that he wanted us to trade prisoners would be an understatement.....every time Rich left my side this guy was right there - at one point he mentioned his Viagra and ran his hand up my back......uh, okay time to go now! We had a good time but I was exhausted so we only stayed a few hours......the best time came when we got home.....LOL - I won't go any further with that! I did get some pictures of me in costume that I have to get developed and then I will post them....yes I said developed - I don't own a digital camera......I am so 1990's!!

Okay one last thing before I head out - we got some very devestating news about my sister in law - seems that the chemo isn't helping fight the cancer and basically if they continue to treat her she probably won't make it. She can't even tolerate a half dose at this point and so basically they have sent her home with not a lot of options. We will find out for sure what else is left to do but we already know that radiation is out so.......? My family and I have been through a whirlwind of emotions with this......anger, fear, sorrow - how is it possible that this is really happening - she is 39, she is educated, loving, the all american mother, a wonderful wife and daughter, funny, beautiful - she is all these things but now those are outweighed by the fact that she is dying. There are children that will forever be scarred by cancer......a family that will cease to exist at the hands of this horrible disease! Again, we are trying to go through the motions at this point but it is not an easy ride......please say a prayer for my sister in law and our family.

Also, while you are saying a prayer for my family, please remember those in California......the fires there are terrifying and so many are displaced and lost.....we, that are healthy and safe, have so much to be thankful for!



Laura said...

I will definately be praying for your sister IL and your family! Cancer is so ugly. I lost my father almost 6 years ago to cancer. Prayers all over!

Dawn said...

So terribly sorry to hear the news about your SIL. Your SIL and her family are in my thoughts and prayers.

WeightBGone said...

Your SIL and family are in my thoughts and prayers. My Dad died of cancer and it was very difficult for us all.

I will also remember all those in Cali who are suffering because of the fires and their losses there.

I am very proud of you for doing the walk I am sure it was an emotional time for everyone there.

I am happy to hear you had fun at the party. I know you were hot and I am sure Ken showed you just how hot when you got home. :)

Colette said...

Steph I am so sorry to hear things are not going well for your SIL. Its a hard place to be in for you and your family. Trust me I know we have been there too. God will give you all strength when you need it most and will always be by her side!
My prayers are with you all and esp the folks in CA. I can SO IDENTIFY with the evacuee's and my heart is wrenching for them. The uncertainty is the worst!!
I am glad you guys had a great night Saturday night!!I can't wait to see the pics!!! Any of you beating your prisioner into submitting????? LMAO....just kidding!! LOL...
Oh I bet if your walls could talk...hehe

Candace said...

Hi Steph, My heart aches for your sister and her family, immediate and extended. Mostly, for her children and husband. I pray she won't spend time suffering. At the end the morphine is God's grace. Sounds odd, but it's true.

To do the walk in honour of your sil and others must have been extremely emotional. I know I get choked up about cancer and it's been 5 years since I dealt with it last. Damn hard. Love you,

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

Wow sounds like you had quite a night! ;0

I'm sorry to hear about your sister in law. Cancer is so devastating to families. I speak from experience-

You are in my thoughts and prayers!

Amanda said...

Girlfriend, you are so right. We are very lucky to have our health and to be safe.

I will say a prayer for your SIL. How old are her kids? I just hurt for you and your family right now. I will be thinking and praying for all of you!

Sounds like your night was Glad Ken was happy! :)

And yay for you doing the walk! I have done a race for the cure before and just seeing all the pink survivor shirts made me cry. I haven't personally been touched by cancer (I pray I never am!) but the tears flowed for me the day I did that race. It's always so moving! Kudos for you for doing it!

jodi said...

i'm sorry to hear about your SIL, your family will be in my thoughts and prayers!

on a good note though, the party sounds like a success - glad your hubby enjoyed the costume! ;o)

Terri and Bob said...

I lost my dad to cancer in March. It is hard to accept, even when one is older. Someone in their 30s should not have to face it.

Proud of you for doing the walk. And, the reminder to pray for the CA people was appreciated!

Bret said...

I'm sorry to hear about your SIL. I keep praying that one of these days they'll find a cure. Until that glorious day comes, your family will be in my thoughts & prayers.

Hang in there!

Superjayman's Battle of the Bulge said...

So sorry to hear about your sil. I will definitely be thinking of you and your family. BIG HUGS!!!

Kate said...

Your family/SIL are in my thoughts and prayers. I've lost several family members to Cancer and know how tough it can be *hugs*

swizzlepop said...

I hope things start to look up for your SIL. Please keep us or me updated. Stay strong!