This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Friday, October 19, 2007

Oat Bran vs. Barbie

WOW - 2 posts in one week??? Well this is more like half a post because I am in overdrive already at work. Let me start by saying that I had a total neurotic Barbie Bitch moment last began with cans of whip cream flying and ended with oat bran all over the floor!! Some days I have that realization that I really am defective.......I can be totally coherent and totally irrational all in the same moment!! I know that I have a weakness for oatmeal, cream of wheat and basically any other hot cereal. It is a real comfort food for me and is something that I grew up on. Typically I don't buy one in my house eats it so there is no real reason for it, especially with my tendency to eat raw oatmeal out of the container - I know, what the hell is wrong with me??? For some reason I had a temporary lapse in judgement and thought that I could survive the temptation of having Oat Bran in the house........hell that stuff is like malt o meal so you can't really eat it by the handful unless you dig the feeling of gritty, clumpy shit running down your throat. So I buy the damn is fairly calorie friendly, high in fiber and decent in protein - no problem......yeah right. After logging my food intake yesterday and realizing that I somehow managed to waste 5 points on oat bran - yes girls, I binged on Oat Bran - I decided to take action! So not only did the oat bran have to go but so did the damn whip cream in a can.......there is nothing ladylike or classy about sneaking out to the garage to suck on the nozzle of an aerosol can.......I swear to God I need professional help sometimes!

So after all of my unhealthy binges I finally had a reality check and decided to take action. Only problem is my "taking action" includes raiding every cabinet, counter, fridge, freezer, nook and crannie to rid it of the contraband that is "BAD FOOD".........I always try to offer up a warning when this is going to hit so that the hubby can grab the kid and cats and head for point in traumatizing the whole family and taking your child to the hospital because he was injured by a flying aerosol can would not make for a cute insurance claim! Yesterday was just a crapola of a day so the idea of being able to throw things was fairly enticing......unfortunately, I got a litte carried away with the box of oat bran.....I resembled a sumo wrestler fighting a small child for a piece of candy! Geez - it is an inantimate object and I am wrestling it to the ground like it holds the winning lotto numbers....I would like to say that I won the battle of bran but in reality the box collapsed and shit went everywhere. You think it was the oat bran gods saying efff' you???

On to better things - my walk is tomorrow and I'm ready - not sure if I'm mentally ready because my emotions are running high all the thinking about my sister in law and grandmother. Also, I am soooo excited about my party and will get pictures up as soon as I can........I really am going to try not to get trashed! I don't recover well from drinking doesn't take much to get me totally hammered and I pay for it for days. One drink is fine but more than that makes Barbie a barfer!

One last thing - I read a tip in Women's Health (here is the link to a great article:,6176,s1-11-67-1882-1,00.html? It says that to eat less you should try eating with your non-dominant hand. It will take longer and slow you down - good god, they weren't lying!! This tip is great unless of course you are ambidextrious and then you're screwed! But I did it last night and it took me 40 minutes to eat dinner.......hell by that time not only was I full and not finished but I was just sick of sitting there trying to get a bite!! You should try it - it works! This magazine has great articles about fitness and diet - I may subscribe to it!

Okay happy Friday to all - have a fun weekend and try to shake it if you can!


Colette said...

Girl you soooo crack me up!! I know what ya mean about your love affair with hot cereals! I have the same thing with cookies, donuts and cakes. I swear if I am quiet enough I can hear glazed donuts calling to me in the middle of the night...saying " come get me..I taste sooo good."
Hang in there. You will do fine tomorrow and what a wonderful way to honor the ladies in your family! I am so proud of how far you have come and how far you continue to grow!
I heart you Stephanie!

Candace said...

It's so sweet of you to warn hubby and the little fella of an impending neurotic break-out. I just tend to jump in and everyone runs for cover, which only irritates me and I run after them, LOL.
Did you see The Flintstones - with Rosie and Roseanne's hubby (brain dead). Anyway, your fight with the oatmeal reminds me of a scene where Wilma is tossing plates on the floor and Fred says she's gonna regret this in the morning - when she has to clean it all up. Maybe you gotta see it, but the scene is classic - and you can imagine Wilma's response.

MMalloy said...

Steph, good luck tomorrow. I am swamped over here but I needed to get on to at least tell you to stay strong and know that I will be thinking about you all weekend. Thank you for everything you do!

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

You and your food battles... I swear when you die and go to Heaven (I'm assuming here) all of those poor helpless foods will be there to let you know how they feel about the destruction you wreaked upon them... those poor sprinkles, the helpless chocolate pudding and now the oat bran.

Scale Junkie said...

My husband has started walking with me daily simply because he has figured out that the more I exercise the less I have neurotic break downs on him...

I think you are living proof that just because we get to goal it doesn't mean the issues that made us overweight in the first place just magically go away. It reminds me I need to deal with my demons a little bit every day to make it easier in the long run. Thank you so much for your brutal honesty and sharing your struggles.

I know there are foods that will never be safe around me and you are right, its best to just keep them out of the house.


WeightBGone said...


Your blogs always have me laughing so hard that dh comes and checks on me to see if I've completely lost my mind. Little does he know I lost that a long time ago along with other things. lol

Good luck on the walk tomorrow I know you will do fine and what a wonderful tribute to the people you love. You are in my thoughts!!

I heart you my friend!

Terri and Bob said...

Thank you so much for coming over to my new blog and leaving such a great comment and helpful suggestions. I think this will be the hardest diet I have been on. I am older, no one is pushing me and I am reluctant to give up anything! But I am motivated, and inspired, by all of you!

Nancy said...

Wow, you have enough warning yourself to warn others? :)

Yesterday I was having a horrible day and someone pointed me to your blog, for inspiration, and because you're funny :) Well, I must say, Barbie 1, Oat Bran 0.

That other hand thing doesn't work so well for me... I used to be pretty much ambidextrous and now I'm fairly dominant on the right side, out of practice. If i use my left hand a lot I get pretty good with it :P But it is a good tip! :)

o.o Aside from that, you're now on my blogroll =)

Amanda said...

I can't wait to hear about your walk!! I know you did great. And I can't wait to see pictures either. YAY!!!