This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Thursday, February 21, 2008

OH soooooo much to update on!

Geez, I've been MIA for another week......where does the time go?? So I have a zillion and one things to update on and I've been trying earnestly to read up and post on everyone's blog - if I somehow missed you I am soooooo wasn't intentional. So first let me post the good news - TOM came......all on her own!!! WOOHOO - I've never been so happy to see Aunt Flo in all of my life. With that comes the knowledge that I'm not pregnant which is a little disappointing but it also brings the knowledge that my body CAN work like it is made to some of the time. Now the TOM brings about another "something" that happened over the is pretty horrific so if you want to stop reading now I understand!

Saturday I went to my cycle class, came home and did some housework, made chocolate chip cookies for my aunt and then got ready to head out to deliver the cookies (my aunt was having surgery). I was getting ready and grumbling (as usual) about my ever expanding butt and how I didn't have anything to wear and I felt like a cow and blah, blah, blah. My poor hubby has learned to keep his mouth shut when I get in one of these as I tearing through the house, alternating between crying and ranting I put on my fat jeans - these are jeans that used to be a bit big last year and recently have come to fit me rather nicely. So I put on my jeans and sat down in the floor to put on my shoes.....when what do I, rip, rip.........NO - it wasn't me making the rip sound but rather the pocket of my "once too big" jeans!!! Oh my gosh......immediately I was hysterical and nothing that the husband could say was going to make it better.....I was screaming that I had lost 4 pounds, I was busting my ass at the gym and what the hell was wrong with me??? It wasn't a pretty sight and I ended up pulling on my comfy yoga pants and a sweatshirt so that I could get out the about feeling like a total slob! That was the low point of the weekend - Sunday I felt like poo and stayed in bed most of the day - kind of feeling sorry for myself.......then Monday TOM showed up. Is it fair to say that I wanted to fall to my knees in praise to the fertility gods for allowing me to have a period??!! Not only did that help absolve my insane guilt over ripping my pants but it also confirmed that my body is not totally hopeless.

So fast forward to Tuesday......I'm a bit concerned about weighing in on Wednesday because of TOM but like I said, I'm pretty much elated over the fact that she is here unassisted so I don't care all that much. Well Tuesday I get hit with a stomach flu......let me just say that I thought I was dying. Fever, chills, aches, stomach upset - you get my drift. Things weren't pretty but I'm feeling more like myself today.....still not 100% sure about eating real food but I figure I can survive on broth and jello for another couple of days if I need to??!! I did end up weighing in on Wednesday and I'm down another 4 pounds!! Some of that could be due to the stomach flu and my lack of real food but I'm thinking that TOM gain may make up for that?? So I'm really hoping that the 4 pounds is real and that I can stay where I am in saying that I've lost a total of 8 pounds! On a bright note, my pants feel much less snug!

Even if I can maintain the 8 pounds - I have another 8 to go but I am really feeling better and more focused - nothing like a stomach flu to help you regain your mojo!

I have a little experiment that I tried this week too and it involves artificial sweetner....I'll fill you in on my next post.

HUGS to you all!


Scale Junkie said...

LOL, your stomach flu post reminded me of the line in the movie The Devil Wears Prada where the one character says I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight.

Hope you feel better Steph!

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Kate said...

Ahhh that stomach flu sucks! I haven't been battling that, but I've been battling a half-cold and it's no good.

I totally think you can maintain the 8lbs...just 8 more to go!

No Where to Run ... said...

no joke! the flu sucks! but sometimes when i am feeling really out of control with food, i sort wish it would happen to me to get me back into reality with eating. of course, it never does. i should be happy about that, huh? and i can't believe i just admitted that thought. i'm progressing, i think!

Amanda said...

I'm thrilled for you that TOM came all on it's own! That's awesome! You will be posting that I'm pregnant post SOON! :)

Swizzlepop said...

YAY for an unassisted cycle, that is great news!!!
Hope you're feeling better!!!