This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Just worn out....

Do you ever have days where you are just tired. I absolutely love my life but I'm tired. I'm overworked in almost every facet of my life. I can't say underpaid because nothing is worth more than waking up in the morning and seeing my baby boy's smiling face. I know that i need to find a balance. I would like to think that I had balance before baby but I know that I didn't. Pre-baby it was all about me all the time. I juggled the hubby and the big kid but they could fend for themselves and truth be told, they enjoyed hanging out together. Mom's typically are a drag on farting contests and food fights. SO I spent a lot of time working on me. Now I don't have that time. I can't stop by the gym on the way home or spend 3 hours there on a Saturday morning. Heck most of the time I can't even get a shower in before Noon on the weekends!! I really thought that I would have a baby, bounce right back in to my 5 spin classes a week and never miss a beat. Hell I thought I would be back on a bike 2 weeks after having Will. What a joke - I couldn't even put together full sentences 2 weeks after I had him let alone hoist my sore butt up on a bike seat...........OUCH!!

Right now I'm at a place that I guess I just never imagined. I've been here before but my focus wasn't being healthy or thin so it didn't matter. When life got in the way before the only thing I missed was 1/2 price burger night at Sonic or the latest episode of Friends. Now I'm missing me and who I've been. Being healthy is like a drug.......once your knees have quit aching and you have more energy, it's like you crave it. DUH! Imagine that, my body screaming to take a load off??!

I'm working on food for the next couple of weeks and I'm doing good but I know that at some point I've got to fit in the exercise. Not necessarily to be a size 4 again but to be healthy. To live a long life for my kids and to be a good example for them. There isn't a lot attractive about a mom that can't chase her toddler or play ball with her elementary school child. That's just not the mom that I want to be. As much as I hate it I may really have to get up earlier and exercise.......I really am lazy by nature but it seems that early morning is my only free time. We'll see but for now I'm sticking to the diet and will be weighing in tomorrow. I'll report back as to how it goes.


(((HUGS)))

5 comments:

MMalloy said...

So good to hear you are back. I need to join you...but that will have to wait until after May ;)
You can do this!!

d.fine09 said...

This is EXACTLY how I feel! I stay home with my two little ones because I know that nobady else can take my place and this time is priceless. The past 3 years seem like a blur. Some days I am lucky to even make it in the shower. Nice to hear that I am not alone in it all.

I'm starting with food too and will add exercise in a few weeks when I feel like the food part is under control. I have never been really thin but lost a lot of weight prior to my pregnancies. Your right. It is like a drug. I remember how good it felt and feel desparate to get my hands on it again.

Amanda said...

Girl--I could have written this post! I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!!!!

I am so getting back on track. I have had my fun, time to get back on track. WE CAN DO THIS! I'm with you on the jog pants and baggy shirts. I just want to FEEL thin again and I did when was losing--even when it was only 5#! Email or facebook me...we can do this! I was doing so well with my exercise but then I injured myself and haven't done anything since...I need to get back to something b/c just exercising made me feel 'thin'. :) Guess, maybe I should blog too?

Just me said...

Steph...
WOW I can so relate, and I don't even have a little one!! Josh is now 14 and Rebecca is 9 and I had thought by now they would be moving away from the nest...but NO! LOL.....

I guess the nest is too comfy and that girl I got...OMG she told me the other day "mom I want to live with you FOREVER!!"

I had to go change my DEPEND!!! LOL....

miss ya and love ya. Glad to see you back around.

anna said...

i feel you sister! it is so hard to juggle all of it. read my latest post...i just got done venting about this.

i need to get up early and exercise too. but i am sooo tired already! i mean, seriously?? earlier? without a good night's sleep? ugh.