This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Updates Galore....

Okay not so much but I do have a zillion things that I need to post about.....most of them are about crappy eating habits, the horrors of fertility drugs and my butt whipping in the gym - for now I'll just sum it up by saying - I've slipped into bad eating habits but I'm working hard to change how successful am I, every day is different but for today I'm going to kick butt. On to the wonderful world of infertility........hmmm.....the drugs have caused my ovaries to be enlarged, I've gained 15 to 20 pounds depending on water weight and basically am a hormonal mess but damnit I ovulated last month!!! WOOHOO - I swear you couldn't have offered me a better gift other than maybe a pregnancy!

On to workouts - I have realized that to burn 500 calories in an have to work freaking hard!!! I'm talking sweating, panting and basically disgusting smelling.....I can't believe that it is that hard to get my heartrate up to 80%.......I'm either just a whimp or out of shape??? It was a bit disheartening to realize that maybe, just maybe I didn't want to have to work like that??? I did find a happy medium in the fact that I'm hitting the elliptical machine a few times a week for about half an hour - I can burn about 300 calories on that sucker and I feel good about the work that I'm doing - 30 minutes = 300 calories is worth it for the diet....spin class 2 to 3x a week for 500 calories is worth it for my sanity. This mix also keeps things changed up a bit so I'm hoping that the scale will start to head back down amazes me that I can be busting my lower body in workouts and I'm now developing saddlebags......WTH?? My mom swears that the hormones are causing me to gain "mommy weight" aka hips and butt - I on the other hand just think I'm shaped like an overgrown, inbred pear??!

Sorry for not doing better at commenting and updating. Things have been so crazy for me lately. Work never ends and recently I have been trying to work through some past relationship issues. I had a falling out of sorts with a few close friends, a few years ago. Some of the drama was my fault and some was theirs but in the end I needed to make peace with the situation so after many days of agony and reflection I wrote apology letters. They were very receptive and although we will probably never be friends again, I am relieved to know that they don't hate me now. So that is my story in a nutshell. I'm going to try to catch up with everyone over the next few days so be looking for me!!



Amanda said...

Girl, I am trying to take it easy, I am, I SWEAR! :)

Sorry about the weight gain, but it's all for a good cause, right?!?! Hang in there...we're all here for ya!

MMalloy said...

Hooray for ovulation! I am so sorry about the extra water weight, it will be worth it in the end and you and I both know those saddlebags aren't here to stay!
I have been thinking of you everytime I am running at the gym and just remembering how hard you are working.
Thank you for the prayers. You are also in my prayers and thoughts. I know that your gift will come and it will be amazing!
I heart you, HUGS!

sabrina said...

Not that its any of my business but have you tried an IUI. I have a friend who has Polycystic Ovanan Syndrome and this worked great for her. It was just a thought. Good luck I hope to see some happy baby news soon!

Miss July...not...yet said...

Sounds like you have a lot going on! Glad that you are checking in on yourself and taking it all in stride.
I hate working out, and it sounds to me that you must be really in shape if it takes that much work to get your hr up!
you rock! I bow down to you oh work out goddess!

MtngirlinCali said...

The weight gain sounds so unfair....but hopefully you will get pregnant soon and it'll all be worthwhile. :)

I found an article for you. I don't particularly like it, but it kind of speaks some truth about heart rate:

Kate said...

Bah, Weight gain and hormones, they suck! But I promise you, it's all for a good purpose, and when your holding a baby, I'm pretty sure it will all be worth it!

Hang in there girl, things will happen for ya, I know it! Your doing great!

Scale Junkie said...

YAY for ovulation! Don't let that water weight throw you, as for the exercise, do what you can do, as long as you do something!

Jessica's Journey To Being One Hot Mom! said...

Barbie...I miss your posts!

Glad you got the friend thing off your chest.

WOOHOO for ovulation! :)

Ready Maid said...

We just LOVE it when you're around. Can you hear us cheering?

Jo said...

Cheers for your ovulation! I can't believe I just read through 4 months of posts to catch up... I've really been out of the loop, wow! Thank you for sharing so much, you've always served as an inspiration to me in so many ways :D

Take care!!


swizzlepop said...

I bet the hormones are totally contributing to the weight gain and saddle bags. I have a friend who is usually tiny and an totally in shape and i saw some pictures of her after a month of if drugs and I could tell she had gained at least 10 pounds and she totally watches what she eats and exercises all the time.
Glad to hear that you are mixing it up with the exercise though!