This picture makes me cry!

This picture makes me cry!
Thought it was time to change my picture

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Real Quick

Hey guys - sorry for my absence. I intended to update everyone on everything today but after getting some bad news from the doc's office I don't really feel up to it. The short version is that I didn't ovulate so I'm not pregnant and we're on to ANOTHER round of medicine that makes me feel like total crapola. There is something masochistic about this whole thing........infertility is humbling and heartbreaking. It leaves me completely confused and for today I'm just sad. I do know that sometimes God delivers us "from" things and sometimes He delivers us "through" them. This trial is here for a reason and I have to trust that He has a plan for my good. Today my faith is tested but tomorrow is a new day and the grief will be less. I will be back to my old self soon!

The house thing may possibly make me crazy but that is something else that I have made peace with. The current "looker" is really being a hard nose and we have reduced our price as much as we are going to. The ball is in his court and if he doesn't buy it then someone else will.......so we'll continue to wait.

Gee - I sure wish that I could get some certainies (sp?) for a change. Thanks for checking up on me and I promise to update again soon!

HUGS

19 comments:

Diet Coke and Zingers said...

So glad to hear you're still alive! I was about to say... "yeah, where the hell IS barbie?!" Hang in friend, it'll all work out I'm sure!

Amanda said...

Hang in there Steph. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I know you will get that baby soon. You have been through so much.... HUGS!!! I'm thinking of you!

jodi said...

just wanted to give you this...

((( HUG )))

Kate said...

*hugs* honey

Scale Junkie said...

{{{Steph}}} hope you're feeling back to your old self soon!

Candace said...

Hi Steph, I couldn't imagine trying to sell my house - not that I'm in love with it or anything. The stress would drive me over I think. Hope today is better.

sabrina said...

Hey there steph I just wanted to share something with you that a good friend shared with my 3yrs ago when my father died from cancer. Its a little saying and everytime I think of it, it helps me to keep going. It goes like this:
"If God brings you to it, He will bring you throught it".
I don't know if this going to help you, but some how it gives me my hope back. You are right God has a plan for you and soon you'll have that baby that you want so badly.
xoxoxox feel better

Caroline said...

My best friend struggled with infertility and i have been told by my doctor that I will have issues as well. I hate that you're going through this. It sounds like you've got stress coming in from all sides. Hang in there!

MMalloy said...

I hate that my friend is going through this. I am here for you though, thinking and praying.
I have high hopes for fertility in this next round. I am thinking a January baby!
I am sending lots of (((HUGS))) you way.

Miss July...not...yet said...

so sorry about the not ovulating thing. Isn't is amazing we spend most of our lives complaining about the pain and mess but when we need it the damn thing disappears. I used clomid & met and I am so grateful every day that it worked.

((((((hugs)))))))

WeightBGone said...

Steph

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I know God has something good for you and the waiting is always the hardest thing but it will come.

You are an amazing lady and deserve so much happiness!! Please take care my friend and know that you are admired and cared about.

anna said...

i'm sorry for your current trials. life is hard. it just is. i know it will get better! thanks for coming back, though! i missed you!!

Colette said...

Steph,
Thinking about you today and always....
{{{{HUGS}}}}

Tina said...

Aww, I'm sorry for your ups and downs with this whole fertility thing. I can't even imagine. There is comfort and peace even in this.. I wish for you the best and for the plan, even in part, to be revealed so you can rest. Love ya girl!

Bonita said...

Hang in there, Steph. Continue to put your faith in God. You wouldn't be in this situation if he didn't know you would successfully get through it. You are in my prayers.

CactusFreek said...

Hi :o)
Is that magazine photo of you? If so, i'd like to ask you some stuff. That's an amazing transformation! I have over 200lbs to lose too :o/

I hope things fall into place for you sooner rather than later :o)

Ready Maid said...

Well, it's great to hear from you. Just know that we're hanging in there with you, believing that you are walking in paths created before the foundation of the world, and that your experiences - while unpleasant - will yield wisdom and direction, not only for you, but for those who follow after you. I believe you can hear the voice of the Shepherd. He will not lead you astray.

Colette said...

I have missed you Steph I really have. I read your blog all the time and I know what you mean when you say things are busy...cuz its the same craziness here too hun!
Just know your never far away from my thoughts and prayers!
As for melting away.....LOL Oh i wish. But I am determined I will be thin one day! I can't wait to get back to exercising and walking. Just have to wait til the foot is completely healed!!
miss ya and love ya Steph!!

Sarah said...

I've been there. It sucks. You feel helpless and like a failure (well I did....how come I cant get nature to work?) It didn't help that I worked in an ER where I saw 13 year girls come in preggo....ugh, still makes me sick to my stomach. But it all happens for a reason. It will happen when your body is ready. Easy for me to say, but try not to stress about it. Stress does some crazy things to a body.

As for me, we ended up getting a divorce. Not because of not getting preggo, but because we weren't happy. Now, I'm grateful we didn't have kids to fight over. I've also come to realize, my purpose in life is to be a step-mom to 3 great kids and eventually "my" kid will be adopted. And I'm okay with that :)