Ughhhh - not sure where to start except to say please forgive me for being MIA lately. I have been crazy busy with work, training meetings and family/work Christmas functions. Can you say overload?? On a good note, my eating is okay and my clothes are fitting better - on a bad note, the scale is jacking with me. I weighed today at the doctors office and it looks like I'm not really losing??? I know the last couple of weeks I've been sick and slacking more than I like at the gym but my calories have been fairly in check - I guess maybe I'm burning muscle with my weight training??? Although, I feel that sometimes I'm not doing things right or enough of them.........guess the inches prove otherwise? One thing that I do know is that I feel better and I really don't have a lot of time to waste freaking about it!
Thank you all for your sweet comments on our pictures. I got so many "your beautiful" comments that I almost believed it - haha! Why is it that we see ourselves so differently than others see us?? I look at those pictures and a whole host of yucky thoughts run through my head..........I hate that! The one thing I am sure of is that I look MUCH better now than I did a few years ago!
Last thing before I collapse into bed - visited the Fertility Doc today. Not much to report other than we are now moving on to using Clomid and of course there will be the usual invasive tests AGAIN! I keep wondering why I have to have the uterus from hell??? It's been giving me grief my whole life and all I ask is that it work right 1 freakin time.........not so much though! If the Clomid doesn't work this month then we will go to injectable drugs.......can you say EXPENSIVE! That could drain our savings in a heartbeat. This whole process has become frustrating to the point of tears. In fact, I was in my car on the way to the Fertility God's office....I was crying out of frustration and longing........I do that sometimes so it isn't like a huge thing for me. I was basically having a mini pity party and I suddenly passed by a church with a sign that read "Don't be afraid, you are right were God wants you to be". So that's what I'm going to do - I'm going to hang in there and remember that above all things I'm blessed. Even when I'm frustrated and angry.......I'm still blessed. I have a great family and support network - baby barbie will be along soon!
HUGS to you all!