So I’ve been MIA for a week now……sorry for the absence but trust me, you didn’t want to hear from me. I’ve been battling some kind of funky, bad mood for almost a week. You know the kind that leaves you feeling mediocre at everything and makes you just want to throw in the towel?? Today I seem to be in a better place so I figured it was time to give you an update since I’m done with the Cleanse phase of my 24 Day Challenge. So…..drumroll please……I lost a pound. Yep, 1 stinky pound. I’ve been frustrated and bummed over the last week because the scale keeps moving up and down. I’ve felt like my clothes were looser but the scale isn’t moving, so what gives??? Well today I measured and…….are you ready……huh, huh?? I don’t know why I’m teasing, it’s not like anyone is reading this anyway. I lost 9 inches!!!! NINE….9…..freaking 9 inches! I was so excited to see that number after taking my measurements. It means all the work is paying off just not how I’m used to seeing it. I’ve lost 3.5 inches off my waist in 10, yes TEN, days! Proof that the scale shouldn’t be the end all, be all of weight loss progress.


I’m not going to tell you it was easy because this last week I’ve really been struggling with my emotions (and I think some hormone stuff too) so it has been a constant struggle to stay away from comfort food, i.e., chocolate. I also had some stomach problems for a couple of days which made me want to eat….I’m a weirdo and want to eat when my stomach hurts cause that makes it all better, right?? But hey, I made it to the other side of the cleanse with no real battle wounds and that is a victory in itself!

Something I will say is that Advocare promises to help you get into healthy eating habits (and it totally does that). You will read a lot of testimonials about people feeling amazing after taking Advocare. I have no doubt they feel amazing and the Spark is definitely a drink that will put pep in your step but I think most of the energy and overall feeling of wellness comes from eating clean. I’m not saying that Advocare supplements don’t work or are not worth the money because I LOVE them and wholeheartedly believe in them. What I am saying is that the cost can scare some people off. It seems like an investment and some people don’t have money to invest in their health because they have to ummm, feed their kids! If you can afford Advocare I say do it….you won’t be sorry and really the supplements/challenge/spark aren’t horribly expensive when you factor in the lifestyle changes you will make (lack of eating out, no more sodas, etc.); however, you CAN take control of your weight, your health, your fitness level with no help from Advocare. I believe Advocare helps lighten the load (I truly don’t crave diet sodas anymore and that is the one thing I refused to give up – even after I started eating clean) but it isn’t absolutely necessary to get where you want to be. What is necessary……determination, a plan, a little will power and a lot of hardwork! I’m not where I want to be but I’m a heck of a lot closer than I was 18 months ago. The process has been slow and frustrating and hard and amazing and rewarding all at the same time. I’m proud of myself and how far I’ve come. I still suck at running (running a race is on my bucket list) and I still can’t do more than 10 tricep dips at a time and my bat wings (aka underarm skin) would still double as a parachute should I ever be pushed out of a plane but I’m getting there. I’m making good choices one bite at a time. I’m pushing myself and believing in myself and forgiving myself and learning to be proud of me again. This time around has definitely been a marathon….parts of me wants to just be done but I know I have to pace myself if I want to be healthy rather than skinny.

So I have 14 more days…..started my morning with the chocolate meal replacement shake and all I can say is YUMMY! Way better than those crappy fiber shakes I’ve had to drink over the last week and a half. I’m excited again and anxious to see where I end up in 2 weeks. And I’m anxious to share it with you. Whether it helps to answer some questions about Advocare or it motivates you to start your own journey…..I hope it inspires you in some way to get healthy!

I will leave you with a “before” picture. This was the night before I delivered Abigail (almost 2.5 years ago). The “after” picture will be in my next post!

Day 4.....More Puking!

Day 4 and boy am I thankful for my Spark! 2 more people in our house have been hit by the stomach bug……combine that with year end at work and to say I’m tired would be an understatement. I will say that I’m amazed I haven’t come down with the bug. Will and I shared a bottle of water on Monday and honestly there isn’t ever a day where one of my kids isn’t blowing snot on me. I really contribute my wellness (is that a word I can use here??) to eating right and Advocare. If you do any research at all you will find that sugar actually tears down your immune system. I gave up sugar over 2 months ago and I haven’t been sick once! That coupled with some good quality Advocare vitamins has really made a difference…..at least I think so.

So Day 4…..ummmm, not a lot going on today. Thankfully I did not have to drink a fiber shake this morning……I really think those things may be the reason that there “isn’t much going on” if you catch my drift. I’m sore from some heavy weights on Tuesday night but I’m planning to do some light cardio tonight. Whoever says they like the burn has clearly never been so sore they can’t get up off the toilet. OMG….I thought I was going to have to sleep there last night because I seriously couldn’t get my legs to move!

Sorry there isn’t more exciting stuff going on…..I wish I had some kind of amazing review for you but I’m only on day 4. I’m trying to stay motivated (I think I really built this challenge up in my head) and keep plugging along. I keep reminding myself that I’ve come a long way and that I feel great….those two things should be the most important part of any diet/healthy lifestyle anyway. So here is to kicking butt in the gym tonight and moving on to Day 5!!

Just a quick picture of my girl…..she reminds me every day why I work so hard to be healthy!

Day 3 of The 24 Day Challenge

I promised an update on the 24 day challenge and I’m sorry it is just now happening. My little guy got struck with a stomach bug so this mommy has been busy, busy, busy! Now I’m hoping that the rest of the family stays well because I’m really not ready to spend the next 2 weeks mopping up puke! So…..I’m on day 3 of the 24 day challenge….thankfully after this morning I get a few days off from the fiber drink. YUCK! Actually it doesn’t taste horrible but it gives me incredible heartburn. I’m not sure if anyone experiences this but I haven’t had heartburn like this since I was pregnant. I’ve been eating pepcid like candy so I’m hoping they are calorie free! Since I’m 3 days in let me list the pros and cons so far. Pros: I feel great…..like really clear and motivated I’ve had no cravings for sugar….in fact I tried to drink a Diet Dr. Pepper yesterday and it tasted awful. I won’t be doing that again! My workouts seem to be more intense….this is a great thing in my book My skin seems to be glowing I feel like I’m shrinking…..this could all be in my head but hey I’m not sad about feeling smaller I have TONS of energy! Cons: This fiber drink gives me heartburn…..oh wow! I’m worried that I won’t do as well as others because I am not eating all the meals/snacks. I eat when I’m hungry…..took me a long time to get here and I’m not going to make myself eat because a book says I should The program is a little intimidating….there are a lot of pills but I’m sure once I get in the routine it will be a piece of cake! So that is where I’m at today…..day 3. Oh and before I forget (or maybe I just waited this long on purpose) my official starting weight was 199. Ughhhh, that is so hard to admit but I’ve come a long way and I’m proud of my hard work. I’m also not beating myself up about gaining weight in the first place….those pounds were worth it and I would gain 300 pounds if it was necessary to get my babies. Okay back to work for me……(((HUGS)))

I'll Start On Monday!

I've been missing in action for like oh the last 4 years! Part of the reason for that is plain and simple.....I'm crazy busy. Going from 1, self sufficient kid to 2 toddlers and 1 teenager has rocked my world. Rocked in a good way but rocked nonetheless! The second reason for my absence has been my frustration with my weight. I gained 20 pounds (thank you fertility drugs) before getting pregnant, 75 pounds with Will's pregnancy and 30 pounds with Abby's. Of course I didn't lose any weight during those back to back pregnancies.....by the time I stopped nursing it was the holidays and then a miscarriage and then BAM a pregnancy!! So I had put on 125 pounds and I was miserable to say the least. Finally in September of 2011 I decided that I needed to get my crap together......like for realz!! I started dieting....kind of. I made little changes along the way and, while it wasn't a fast weight loss, the scale did continue to trend downward. To date, I'm down almost 80 pounds! I'm proud of that....I'm still not thrilled with where I'm at but I'm in Onderland again and I am working to be healthy. I want my body to be healthy and my mentality towards food to be healthy. This isn't just about me fitting in to a pair of skinny jeans......it is about being able to watch my kids grow up and teaching them what a healthy lifestyle looks like. Those are my goals now. Of course a cute pair of skinny jeans would be a nice bonus! I've been eating clean for a couple of months and I feel great but I've decided that I need to step up my game. I've decided to try the 24 day challenge by Advocare. I know, I know....I was the biggest skeptic but it has a 100% money back guarantee so I figured the only thing I had to lose was weight. Our challenge starts Monday and I'm going to try to use the blog as an accountability tool. I would also like to be able to go back and see my progress. Maybe I can also encourage someone along the way.....who knows?? So on Monday I'll be posting my stats.....oh dear Lord, I've never done that before and frankly, the thought makes me want to puke. But i figure if I'm going to be accountable I need to own the number...regardless of the humiliation that may occur after I post them. So stay tuned for my results. I'm planning to be brutally honest and hopefully offer a fair, unbiased opinion of the products and the challenge. I have hesitated for so long on doing this challenge but this time it just feels right....I'm excited and ready to bust through a plateau or 2!!

Letters to my children.....

Geez, I have a billion things I could type out here and I'm trying to sort them all out so bear/bare (????) with me. This post and the others to come will probably be moved to a seperate space in the interenet universe but for now, I'm putting it here. Here goes: To my amazing children: Sometimes in life you have a day that starts like any other day but ends with such a profound sense of sadness that you can barely breathe. A day that makes you stop and question everything about the universe. A day that makes you realize your own mortality......makes you wonder, "what will I leave behind for my children should I go before they can ever really know me?". Well I had one of those days today.....actually a few days ago. Right now you are 15, 3 & 1, respectively. Hopefully, I will live to see my great grandchildren at your age but seeing as how we are not promised tomorrow, I wanted to just tell you my story. I wanted you to know who I am.....I'm your mom and without a doubt that is the most important "thing" I will ever be but there is so much more than that. I don't know that you can ever really convey, on paper, who you truly are but I want to try. First, as I said before, I'm your mother. My deepest dream was fulfilled the minute that you were placed in my arms.....actually the minute I heard "you're pregnant". My life was forever changed and a balm was poured in to my soul that soothed every hurt that I harbored.....every rough and rocky road seemed a distant memory. That is and will always be my most important title I have. Even on days when I scream, "I swear I'm going to change my name if you say it one more time".....yeah, even on those days I know how blessed I am to be a mom, specifically your mom. I'm also a lover....you may not believe this because I've probably used the paddle on your hiney more than once but I really am. I love deep and if I love you, I love you. My emotions run high and most of the time I'm not afraid of showing them. I cry if I'm hurt or angry or sad. Sometimes I do more than cry, sometimes I sob (or ugly cry as we girls like to call it) but I'm not afraid to do that in front of people or by myself. Most people would say that I wear my heart on my sleeve and that isn't far from the truth. I know that loving comes with risks but I don't want to live my life without giving or receiving love. What kind of life would that be? Intense sadness is part of having amazing joy.....the two go hand in hand during this life. To feel the depths of such great joy I believe that you have to feel the lows of heart breaking sorrow. Those emotions are threads that run through the tapestry of our life.......creating the fabric of who we are and propelling us forward to discover the future that is laid out before us. Never be afraid to cry.....the saying "boys don't cry" is baloney. Some of the most tender moments I've ever shared or witnessed involved tears being shed by one of the men in my life. Whether they are joy or sorrow filled......tears have a language that connects hearts and souls. I guess that is enough for today. More than anything in this whole world you have to know I love you. That I am your biggest fan...that no matter where you go or what you do, somebody will ALWAYS love you....that someone is me. I love you to the moon and back, Mom

Goals for now.....

Lately I have become involved in a plethora of different hobbies and while I love having so many things that interest me, I hate the feeling of never fully commiting to one thing. I am left feeling completely disorganized and anxious about EVERY SINGLE THING I want to accomplish. So I thought it would be productive to write it down here.....at least start writing it down. So here goes.

1. Learn to run.......while I may not enjoy running I would at least like to give it a shot. This is somthing I have been putting more and more thought in to. Now I need to quit thinking about it and just do it.

2. Learn to take great pictures and how to edit them.....I LOVE taking pictures of my kids and having a nice camera was always a dream of mine. Well, my dad bought me a dslr for Christmas and while I have played with it, I'm having trouble finding time to really get my hands dirty. I'm also having trouble getting my kids to sit still for more than 10 seconds at a time. I'm not sure how to fix that one??!

3. Learn to applique.....I'm doing well with sewing (for the most party) so I really would like to take on a few applique projects and learn to do that. I'm an Etsy junkie so anything I can create at home is bound to save me some money!

4. Give more.......more money, more time, more of me. And not just to those in need but also to my kids and my family.

5. Cultivate a better relationship with my husband.....we are fine most days but I want more than fine. I'm not expecting unbridled passion every time I see him but after 7 years and 2 toddlers we could definitely use some "us" time. I LOVE being a mom but I think one of the most important things I can give my kids is a good marriage between their mom and dad.

Okay so those are just a few.......I have a million little things like planting flowers, reading more, planning fun outings for the kids but the things above are the things that keep me up at night. So now that I have a list how do I start incorporating these things without making myself nuts??!! Awwww, the million dollar question!

Back to Phase 1

So I get an update every week about how many visits my blog gets. This weekly email motivates me to blog because when I actually see that people visit my little corner of the internet I feel extreme guilt for not giving them something to read. With that being said, I'm sorry for my sloth like blogging this past week. It's been a tough one for a lot of reasons but mostly becuase for about 6 days I just wansn't feeling the love. Not the love for blogging but the love period. I was in a funk and as I told my friend, "I felt like my spirit had been broken". I'm so glad that my blues have passed and I'm able to dust off my dancing shoes.........don't worry, I'm not literally dancing!

I'm back on phase 1 of the 17 Day Diet.......I just don't do well with carbs. I'm really hoping that at some point I can find my moderation button and begin using it but right now, I just can't seem to find a good middle ground. I'm either hard core or I'm so lazy it isn't funny. For now I need to work on begin commited and hard core. But man I miss sugar and chocolate and rice........lucky for me the cravings usually pass after a few days and I get to where I don't even think about that stuff. I'm just ready to be there, like NOW!

I'm anxious for spring so I can start walking with the babies.........I say babies but really they are toddlers who will probably keep me running after them on our walk. I'm envisioning me pulling a wagon with 55 pounds worth of baby in it. I probably should start working out now so I can be prepared for those walks!!

Okay, I'm sorry I'm boring but I'm super busy at work and just can't seem to focus. Have a great day and I plan to be back more often this week.